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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Part II of the Series - A Conscious Whisper


There may not be explicit directions or a road map that can show us how to think but we can train ourselves to be our own compass.  We can look from one side to the other for a definitive description of our essential qualities.  We can embrace our creativity or ponder logic.  Sometimes we can do both.  

But what if we were to take our brain and shift it?  What if we delve deeper and farther away from your typical right brain/left brain analogy.  Would the classification then be inside/outside?  Does that mean that the conversation my friend is having with herself is actually her sub-conscious mind whispering to her conscious mind?

Our subconscious is gaining a lot of recognition and notoriety.  It's where we are learning we can find some answers.  For all good will and intents and purposes, our subconscious has our best interest in mind.  It is our true self, hidden from the ego and the day to day grind of life.  Our subconscious knows us and knows who we can be if we could just get out of our own way.

We either think to much or not enough.  We are moving so fast in this
tele-conditioned society of ours that we have forgotten how to listen.  My friend is starting to see and hear the signs of her life telling her it's time to pay attention.

Malcolm Gladwell refers to it as our Blink Moments.  The power of thinking without thinking.  Have you ever had an experience where something happens like you spill your coffee and as it's happening you realize that you had thought for a blink of a second that you shouldn't put your cup there but you did it anyway?

Squire Rushnell references it as the power of coincidence in When God Winks.  Again, using our own inner powers to guide our life and change our circumstances.

In The Power of the Subconscious Mind, Joseph Murphy refers to the law of belief and the abilities to use your subconscious mind to solve problems, create wealth, and bring about inventions.  He even speaks of the relationship between our dreams and our subconscious.  There are lessons to be learned.  If we believe.

It is possible that the strength my friend has found is her subconscious reaching out from the depths to help her make better decisions.  She is embarking on a new part of her journey.  After recently experiencing a break-up with someone she has been with for a long time, she expressed to me a fear of being alone.

It's ironic that she would find this new hidden talent of self-power during such a crisis.  Perhaps her subconscious is showing her that she is not alone.  She has an ally she can always call upon for help, strength and assistance.  She can overcome her conscious fears and insecurities by listening to her true self.  Her subconscious mind is educating her in the power of self-discipline.

We do hold a lot of power.  It's up to us whether we choose to believe in that power or not.

It's time to stop getting in our own way and to resolve the conflict that lay within us.

Can you hear it?


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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Part 1 of the Series - What side are you on Anyway?


               
There are two sides to every story.  And at certain glance, two halves to every whole.  We know it takes two parts to complete a circle and there are two distinct cerebral hemispheres in our brain.

Based on research in the late 60’s American psycho-biologist Roger Sperry, 1981 Nobel Laureate in Medicine, made a ground-breaking discovery.  He proposed that each side of the brain controlled different types of thinking.

You’ve probably heard people ask, “Are you a right brainer or left brainer”?  As the theory goes, our creative abilities ruled by the right side of our brains are emotional, creative, musical, expressive and intuitive.  The left side of our brains are comprised of logic, critical thinking, reasoning, numbers and language.

If we take this theory and combine it with the possibility that we can actually use one side of our brain to talk to the other side then we invoke the power of persuasion.
  
The equilibrium of our existence is essential to our composure.  We must find a way to coexist within ourselves or we will find ourselves stepping outside the boundaries of our own comfort levels.  

Balance is essential to our existence and we cannot let one side of us take over the other side against our will.  This is conflict at it's finest.  When we are in conflict with ourselves it puts us off kilter.  We need to find a way within ourselves to find strength. 

Do we have to pick sides?  My friend was able to pick a side and make it her stronger side.  But which side was it really?  Which side is the one that tells my friend, “Let’s go to the gym”, when the other side says, “Let’s have a glass of wine”?  It would make sense to me that the logical side would want to be healthy while the creative side would want to kick it and enjoy the scenery. 

How did she know that she could overcome the disparaging voice of that side of her brain that tried to keep her from doing what she wanted?  She has given herself the power to override the chatter.   But what if the conversation isn't what she thinks?  

What if looking from left to right is looking in the wrong direction all together?  

Want to delve deeper? 







Labyrinth Painting - Monica Erosa


Monday, May 23, 2011

No Judgement

We need to embrace who we are.  We can't worry that people are judging us.  We shouldn't hide.  Our truths are our own.

People are either going to understand us or they're not.  Let's face it.  Some people are judgmental.  They don't mean to be.  Sometimes they don't even realize they are doing it.  Admittedly, once upon a time my thoughts found me guilty of judgement.  Not just of others either.  Mostly of myself.  Growing up in a house where the unspoken welcome mat was "what will the neighbors think" leant itself to prudence.

Most of the time when we judge, it's because we don't understand something or someone.  We can't wrap our heads around things that are different to us.  We inflict our own beliefs on how things should be and we can't steer away from that narrow path.

If someone wears off beat clothes embrace them for their creativity.  If someone had a troubled past commend them for their courage.  If you don't understand who someone might be and you walk away you might miss out on a valuable lesson, a long lasting friendship or even love.

Maybe it's time we all heed the advise of the old adage, never judge a book by it's cover.  Let's just stop judging all together.  Especially ourselves.  Nurturing our truths is a brave endeavor.  Cultivating each others can be an intrepid adventure.


Life should be filled with adventure, sharing, and risk.  Take a chance on someone you might not normally talk to.  Be openminded.  Step outside your circle.  Your comfort zone.  Something really special could await you.

After all, you wouldn't want someone judging you, would you?





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Saturday, May 21, 2011

Check in Number 11


It's been a long week.  I don't know whether to pout, cry, laugh, stomp my feet, or throw in the towel.  Of course, it's a given.  I am going to do everything but throw in the towel!

The hours I am keeping are ridiculous but welcome to music videoville.   I have to remember that I love what I do.  But it's hard when my true love is left to sit by the wayside and the neglect is evident.  The delay in writing my four part series breaks my heart.  I have been so excited about it but a girl has to choose to get some sleep sometimes.  The series will come soon.

Today I couldn't return to the office it feels I just left before getting some things off my chest.  I woke today with a heavy need to remind us all of something that could prove to be important.

Everyone has an opinion.  And for the most part we want to share it.  Guidance, advise, counsel, suggestions, even constructive criticism are all someone else's opinion.  We should, (if we trust them) listen.  Hear what they have to say and then sit with the information so we can figure out what we deem appropriate to us in the moment.

I have received praise for my writings even though some people out there might think it's narcissistic.  Some people read everyday and share with me how my words have changed them while others laugh or snub their noses at my messages.

The beauty of life is there is something for everyone.  It is up to us to choose, select and appoint what is right for us.  

Someone that I admire told me recently that she loved my postings because they are personal and from the heart and she relates to what I say thanks to the way I say it.  She said she looked forward to reading what I have to say and that it would replace the Daily Om for her.  If you can imagine, this was the highest praise I could receive because I myself read the Daily Om!

On another note, I recently received an amazing heart felt letter from a publisher.  He actually took the time to evaluate my self-help memoir that I sent him.  He said that I am a good writer and that I have talent.  But he also felt that my book should be written in the third person, I used to many "I's" and that the story had no point.  He said the part II (the self-help part) felt forced.

Of course this email has been on mind and I realized today that I was spending so much time thinking about what was said about my writing that it was keeping me from writing!  So here I am again.  Getting it out.  Working it out on paper with you.  Have you ever had someone give you their opinion on something you were proud of and you let it get the best of you?  Maybe you second guessed yourself enough that you let the opinions of someone else keep you from following through on a dream?

That would have been me before.  I would have put the book in a drawer and walked away.  But I am now cognizant of the fact that everyone has an opinion. Not everyone will relate to me or my stories.  I have also had four people read my self-help memoir from cover to cover in one sitting and want to turn it into a screenplay right away.  Everyone is different and everyone has something else to say.

I like what I am learning.  And I am going to heed the publishers advise and try the exercise in writing some entries never using the word "I" (although that's obviously not today).  I even find myself considering a re-write.  I also find myself figuring out a way to make part I and part II more of a collective whole.

The message here is that I am considering these things.  The book didn't get thrown in a drawer and I didn't let someone's opinion deter me.  I listened with an open mind and while I almost let it get the best of me.  Now I choose to keep believing in myself, keep pursuing and keep doing.

We are powerful beings and we can be influential in so many ways.  While we may have a lot to think about, we can't let our thoughts keep us from action.  Stay positive, keep smiling and most importantly, stay encouraged.  Know where you're heading and let your heart take you there.  Never, ever give up on yourself.

It's time to stop over-thinking.

What are you going to do today?





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Saturday, May 14, 2011

A Four Part Series


It's amazing how different we all are.  Our perceptions really do make us truly unique.  The way we view life, the things we say, what we do and the company we keep, says a lot about who we are.  Our approach to any given situation is our tell.  We have our philosophies, our belief systems and our convictions.  The principles we follow are based on views that agree with our ideologies.

Fundamentally we must evolve like a tree of life.  If there is an immanent desire to be better, to learn more, and to prosper then our natural development is inevitable.  We will innately find new and innovative ways to stretch ourselves to new limits.  

Do our impressions change as we grow?  Most certainly.  Does our thinking adjust as we learn new things?  It would have to.  Do we adapt by coming up with innovative ideas for self-motivation?  We do when where we are isn't good enough anymore.

This series we are about to embark upon is born from many conversations with one of my best friends.  She is embarking on the art of revision and adaptation. Like the rest of us, she is learning new things about herself as her circumstances and relationship statuses change.

"Life is about change and it is those that resist that change that shall fall upon their greatest obstacle, themselves".       ~Pepper Carlson

We can all tap into our own resources.  We can adorn ourselves in the jewels of wisdom and transformation.  We can look within to see that if we don't make an attempt at evolution we will stifle our creative resources.  If we don't learn to take care of ourselves we will be off balance.  We don't want to stumble through our lives.

My friend has been a huge source of encouragement for me.  In one of our most recent conversations, she shared with me her excitement about an epiphany she had.  She kept calling it her left brain right brain.  During a recent moment of motivation, she was getting ready to work out when all of a sudden part of her brain thought, "Instead of working out I could watch my new Netflix or catch up on some reading or take a nap."  The voice of that side of her brain was loud and clear and had other ideas that didn't include a gym.  But then the other side of her brain was like, "No!  Go work out.  You're dressed, you'll feel good, now get to it."

It worked.  She was able to redirect that part of her that was trying to keep her down.  And the excitement in her eyes when she was telling this story was like she had placed first in a marathon.  Accomplishment!  She figured out a way that works for her to quiet the disparaging voice of the side of her that has a mind of it's own.  Now when she finds herself in a conflicting predicament she taps into her own power of motivation.

This kind of self conflict got me thinking.  We know we can be our own worst enemies, our own worst dichotomies, and we can seal our own fate.  But what if how we view ourselves and the conflict we put ourselves through is an ego driven fallacy?  What if we can override, or join forces with our selves by implementing a relationship directly with the selves as separate entities?

There are many sides to every story right?  And we are all our own story right?  Well how many sides does our story have exactly?  Can there even be more than one?

This is going to be a journey into hypothesis.  I leave it up to you to decide what belief system works best for you, if any.  Or you can be like me and just embrace the possibilities.  Theories were meant to be mulled over and tested and squeezed and stretched beyond the imagination.  I am not sure where this is going to take us.  But I must admit I am excited to find out what I have to say about it all.  I don't know how long each part will be or how long this will take me but hopefully it will all make sense and the rhetoric is persuasive in that it challenges you to delve even deeper into your journey.

Self forgiveness, encouragement, conflict, tests, strength, will, creativity, intellect, emotional, serious, consistent, supportive, rhetorical.   

Part I  -  What Side Are You On Anyway?

Part II -  A Conscious Whisper

Part III - Is That An Angel On Your Shoulder?

Part IV - Hearing the Silence



Stay Tuned... 




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Friday, May 13, 2011

Beloved



Being the eternal optimist that I am it is no wonder that I might be branded the hopeless romantic.  Maybe I was born to the wrong era.  Maybe I just think old fashion should never go out of style.  Fads are what we make them.  Some things are meant to hold onto, an old locket your great grandmother wore or your fathers favorite ring.  

The most important thing we hold dear are our memories.  But what if the memories haven't happened yet?  Or they happened in a dream?  Or they happened in a poem because your romantic nature always promises to get the best of you?  Maybe these memories can be called wishes.  They are the ones that haven't happened yet but maybe they still will... These memories right around the corner are called...

 My Beloved

I spent my youth by the waters edge
Immersed in a prayer that you would find thee
Waiting patiently as the years passed by
I began to wonder if you could hear me

Would you listen to my beckoning call
Or would I wonder aimlessly without you
Perhaps I was just a hopeless romantic
And you were never really supposed to

But if we inherently believe in miracles
To the entire world we must profess
That anything is possible and
So we adhere to its bequests

There is someone for everyone
And this I hold true
From the bottom of my heart
I have waited patiently for you

I thought that I was dreaming
When you walked through the door
The first time our eyes embraced
And I knew I wanted more

Years would pass with more encounters
Yet never a word of happenstance
We would always just walk away
Leaving our connections to chance

How ironic that you should find me now
Within reach of your similar path
Only time can reveal the truth
If there’s such a thing as our other half

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Humble Admissions



Okay it's official, I am a lamb chop. As much as I hate to admit it, I do have feelings. I am not the strong, knights shield of armor, New York tough girl, exterior shell I show to the world. I am susceptible to harm, I get sad, and my feelings get hurt.

Sometimes I am lost, I lack direction, and I go in plain old circles. Sometimes my friends hurt my feelings, I feel left out or I am just breathing through the denial.  I am vulnerable.  Eek!  The V word!  Once upon a time I couldn't even say the word vulnerable.  To me the V word was the equivalent to most peoples L word.  But here goes.  I am trying something new.  Humble Admissions.

I am convinced that we attract that which we know.  If we are not careful we will find ourselves creating situations that prove us right.  We will keep repeating our patterns and we won't be able to get off the hamster wheel.

These confessions are not casting blame.  They will come out very one sided but that's good!  This journey is about us anyway right?  No one has to see the list you make.  And you certainly shouldn't have to defend it.  We each have our own story.  We have our perception of how we are affected by our relationships and they may differ from everyone else in the room.  

You see, we react to things based on our own knowledge, feelings and upbringing.  What might make you feel bad might make someone else laugh.  What might scare you could be invigorating to others.  But the work we do with ourselves should be open, raw and life changing.  Have you ever been hurt by something or someone but shrugged it off?  How often do you that?
  
I guess the truth of the matter is, if you show one side of you to the world then that's who the world will think you are.  I was talking to one of my friends one day, after one of my other friends hurt my feelings pretty badly.  While I was explaining what happened, I got triggered.  All of a sudden I started talking about all these scenarios of how our friends had left me out of things over the years or did wrong by me in some way even though I included them when they needed it most.  I started sobbing so hard that I ran to my room, slammed the door, sat on my floor against my bed and sobbed into my hands.
  
I had another one of my many why me's, how many more tears can there be kind of moments.  My friend opened the door, my puppy came running into my room, jumped on my lap and started licking my face.  Of course, I started laughing.  And apparently, from the look on her face, I scared my friend which made laugh even harder.  She had never seen me cry.  To her, I was the description above of all the things I am not.

I finally realize something else too. The people that care about us don't hurt us on purpose (well we hope not).  They are acting toward us the way they are.  Chances are highly likely that they are not aware of what they are doing.  How can they be?  They don't have our same perceptions.  We can't take it personally.  If it hurts, feel the pain.  Cry it out or work out or do whatever it is you do to feel better.  Find the place of love in your heart and forgive them and forgive yourself and move on.  Even if it's without them.  Do whatever is best for you.

Challenging myself to be this humble has been the hardest thing I have ever done.  It's actually been physically uncomfortable for me.  When you spend your life behind your fa├žade of protection it is scary as hell to step out from beyond the veil.

But I am doing this.  You with me?  Every time we do something it gets easier.  Things are only scary if we've never done them before.  

What are you too scared to admit?



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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Shifts & Check In Number 9

Time sure does pass when you are focussing on other things.  Spring is trying to decide if it's really here or not with warm weather one day and cold wind the next.  But the sun is out and brings promise.  How's your check in experiment going?  Are you still pursuing?

This morning on my walk I took it all in.  I checked in with nature, myself and where I am on the path.  I feel the shifts.  Patience is still holding on tight and I am trying not to fight with it.  My thoughts are finally starting to catch up with the advise I give.  Why is it so easy to give everyone else advise but not so easy to heed it?

I have a lot to be thankful for and even though my fears try to get the best of me sometimes, my nature is coming to the rescue.  My endeavor is protected by my patent, my career is still paying the bills and I found my life's calling with the words that seem to pour out of me on a daily basis.

My check in Number 9 has me optimistic.  Everyday I get into my power of intention and I send out another inquiry for help in finding an investor to partner up with me.  Someone is out there who is meant to be my business partner.

Even though I haven't received a positive response to any of my query letters I know that my book will be published and I will get to share it.  In meditation I see people reading my book and sharing it with love ones and friends who will benefit from the messages.  I even saw myself doing a high school and college circuit  where I get to go and share my story with students and introduce them to the power of positive insight.

You would be surprised how many people out there still don't believe in the possibilities.  They stay trapped in their limiting beliefs and think it is the life they were meant to be living.  Astonishing.

We were meant to be great.  It is up to us whether we suffer or survive, if we just get by or if we live abundantly.  Coco Chanel went from an orphanage to a style icon.  Oprah born to a poor teenaged mother went on to become well, Oprah!  

There are many success stories we can seek out to uplift us, remind us, and encourage us that we can be one of the hand full.  We just need to believe.  Happiness comes from within and so do the answers to our lives, if we can figure out what it is we are meant to be doing.

Have we forgotten what our childhood dreams were?  Do we have intellect over-ride?  What happened to wanting to be a Doctor, a Fireman, a Super Hero?  We need to find our irrevocable belief in ourselves that it is never too late, we are always enough, and we were meant for greatness.

Figure out your "what" and let the Universe take care of the "how".

Who were you meant to be?



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Monday, May 9, 2011

Power Vocabulary



You can create the energy to turn your dreams into 
 reality by knowing what to say when you talk to yourself.”

                                                                 Shad Helmstetter, Author 

Need some self inflicted uplifting?  When we are in a place of personal power we are more apt to be open to the solutions needed to conquer the tasks at hand.  Most companies start the week with a Monday morning staff meeting.  Instead of walking into the day wishing it was still Sunday and the Laker game was just starting instead of having ended in embarrassing defeat, let's get into our power of intention.

When we take time to nurture ourselves we feed ourselves energy.  And energy can come from many sources (not just coffee).  We can use our own words to make us stand taller, breath deeper and keep a confident smile throughout the day.  When in a place of positive thinking and speaking we manifest the positive around us.  If we utilize our own means of lifting ourselves up with purpose, people will have to stand taller to greet us.

Words have power.  They bring happiness or inflict pain.  They give us hope or bring us sorrow.  They can keep us stuck or help us believe in ourselves.

Find a mirror.  Stand in front of it and take a good long look!  Smile.  Smile as big as you can and keep the smile until it actually turns into a real smile.  It might even make you laugh.  Good!  Then tell yourself how great you are.  I know it might sound silly.  It might even sound scary.  But seriously if I told you to go stand in front of a mirror and insult yourself I bet that would be no sweat would it?

Why is that?  Why is it so easy to believe the insults rather that absorb the compliments.  How many of you can actually take a compliment and say "thank you"?  If someone tells you they love your outfit, do you say "Oh, this old thing" or if someone tells you your hair looks good, do you reply, "Really, I didn't even have any of my good hair product left so it came out weird".

Can we snap out of it?  If we practice using our own power vocabulary we can change the way we think about ourselves.  I find using a quote or an affirmation works really well.  You can find them on-line or in your favorite book.  Write it on a piece of paper and keep it with you.  Say it everyday.  Learn it by heart and say it over and over until it becomes your reality.

I have even had times in my life when I have left little notes to myself all over my house.  On my bathroom mirror I had a post-it that said, "You are beautiful" and in my sock drawer I had a note that said, "You can go anywhere you set your mind too".  In my underwear drawer, I put a reminder that said, "You are sexy" and at my front door I put a large colorful memo that said, "Have a fabulous day".

Seeing these little reminders everyday made me mindful of cherishing myself as a human being and when we are in a place of purity we are more inclined to show our best sides and our love to everyone we come in contact with.

Practicing the art of power vocabulary can help us live up to our true potential and assist us in setting good examples to everyone around us.

One person really can make a difference.  If we are our true selves then we encourage people to be their true selves.  When we are all coming from a place of purity and personal power great things can happen for all of us.

What do you have to say?

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Some power vocabulary to play with

Love, Happiness, Accomplished, Prepared, Focused, Approved, Strength, Laughter, Joy, Completed, Supported, Huge, Gifted, Ultimate, Willpower, Truth, Unlimited, Attractive, Growth, Promising, Beautiful, Special, New, Excellent, Destiny, Terrific, Breakthrough, Informative, Unique, Strong, Rare, Valued

Here are some links to encouraging quotes






Sunday, May 8, 2011

Life With One Eye Open


Life With One Eye Open has a Facebook Fan Page!  Enjoy!



Thank you everyone for your continued support!


Peace, Love & Light,

~Pepper

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Batteries Not Included


Can we keep life un-daunting?
Being the W Chaser I have more to ask
There's no need to be apprehensive
So come out from behind the mask

There's an unwritten rule you can find
Within the chains of our DNA makeup
People can't let us down
If we don't allow them to hold us up

Just put one foot in front of the other
No time for an unedited review
Keep following your yellow brick road
The world is out there waiting for you

This is no Hansel and Gretel
So perhaps there really is no way home
But you can't go backwards anyway
You must embrace all of the unknown

Can you see your reflection
Are you the fairest of the them all
What does the mirror say to you
Does it leave you breathless & enthralled

Alice down the rabbit hole
It's never to late to join your life
The world will give you what you ask of it
So be careful what you ask

We can find the energy to keep it going
Never running on empty or Skipping on fuel  
We are our own versions of the energizer bunny
Batteries not included and there are no rules

Be gentle, be kind, be curious, be hopeful, be wishful, be friendly, be humble, be creative, be childlike, be fun, be thoughtful, be complimentary, be you.


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Friday, May 6, 2011

Buyers Remorse


Is it possible to avoid regret?  Should we even try?  What if our regrets are necessary?

regret -  feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, esp a loss or missed opportunity)


Regret can be a very strong emotion and we need to be careful not to let these moments of guilt keep us stuck.  Guilt is a very strong emotion that can lead to serious illness if not nurtured and cleared.

When we are resentful toward other people because they have more than us, we risk living in someone else's shadow.  This type of thinking holds us back, leaves us feeling inadequate and can amount to us giving up on our own dreams and potential.

It's one thing to regret something we have done but we must be mindful that we don't become consumed by circumstances that we are less than proud of.  We can't give our misdeeds that much power.  

We also need to forgive ourselves.  We shouldn't be so hard on ourselves for not always being perfect.  Sometimes we make the wrong choices.  Sometimes our circumstances call for drastic measures.  Sometimes our fight against nature vs. nurture gets the best of us and we find ourselves in precarious situations.  

Is it weakness to give in or are we strong for wanting to get away from it all?  I learned to hide from the past.  Somewhere along the way I acquired a love for the night and all that it brings.  If I counted all the nights I have had the number of missed days would be staggering.  

With the missed days come many missed opportunities.  But I wasn't strong enough to face the daylight and look at myself in the mirror.  I was too busy hiding.  Hiding from my past and all that had been done to me.  I was also hiding from the things I have done to others.  I couldn't face them.  It was all too much.  But then one day you wake up and the payoff of regret isn't enough anymore.  You're still emotionally broke and crippled by the why me's of it all.

Regret can be healthy if we keep it all in perspective.  Go easy.  We shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.  Our lives aren't backed by buyers remorse.  We can't exchange those moments for new ones or give ourselves back since we weren't given a receipt to begin with.

Suck it up!  Take out a sheet of paper and fold it in half.  Label one column regrets and the other column outcome.  In the first column (obviously) make a list of everything you regret.   The other column should be a list of the things that have come out of the regretted experience.  And chances are there will be some things on the outcome column that will make you smile and that will quite possibly help you realize that we can find the positive counterpart in most everything we do if we take the time to be nice to ourselves and look deep within to that place of purity.  

If we take the time to nurture ourselves, forgiveness will come.  If we can make allowances for things we got wrong next time we will get it right.  

My list is long. I was harboring resentments I didn't even know I had.  I have been so angry.  But I was also in serious denial about how angry I was at my parents and my upbringing and all the horrible things that have ever happened to me that it was hard to see what I was bringing to the table.   

I was so busy trying to be happy that I chased happiness for the moment, in the night, only to be left more bereft then when I started.  I've regained my composure and I have decided to make peace with my resentments, my regrets, and all the things I can't take back.  I'm being accountable and I am sorry.  Sorry to myself and sorry to those I have wronged or hurt along the way.  

I am thankful to have found the courage to persevere.  When facing the eyes of adversity I am making different choices now.  I haven't seen the midnight moon in a long time.  And my time spent in the sun has brought with it a courage I hadn't known before.  

Do I wish my past had been different?  Yes, I still do.  But who I am today is because of all the things that happened along the way.  The list of accomplishment is long.  Today, I can honestly say, I don't regret who I am now.  

What does your list look like?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Calm Down



Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another

Life's moments bring surprises.  Sometimes they are welcomed but sometimes the news can be complex therefore invoking feelings of loss, bewilderment or even shock.  

I noticed today while I was first in line at the red light that a guy on foot was rushing across the street.   At the same time the green light went off signaling the left turning lane to move forward.  Approaching the intersection a guy in an old chevy trying to get on the freeway started honking at the guy like crazy.  He actually came dangerously close to hitting the poor guy.  As I watched this most unfortunate display of noise pollution the guy behind the wheel was visibly cursing at the guy as he passed.  

Sometimes I wonder.   Why are some people so aggressive?  Why are some people so quick to get angry?  Why do we insist on reacting instead of taking a breath and putting ourselves in other peoples shoes?

What if that guy rushing across the street got an emergency phone call about his child being sick at school and while trying to get there his car broke down and he was rushing to catch a bus?  

Haven't we all at some point in our lives been new at something, made a mistake or bumped into someone on accident because we were distracted by some unwelcome event that happened to us?

I am not making excuses for all of us.  I  am simply trying to give us another perspective of what the possibilities could be.  The how-to's and/or what-if's of what is going on in the lives of our fellow human beings.  Sometimes we are in the wrong and we should be more careful but sometimes we get surprised by life and the outcome can have an adverse affect on us.  

I remember when I got the call that the woman I called mother, had past away.  I was shooting a promo for the Fox Reality network and happened to be in the hall when my phone vibrated in my hand.  I was in such shock by the "mom just died" coming through my phone, that I felt like I was walking around in circles.  I just kept saying, "I am not sure what I am supposed to do now".  Needless to say, my boss responded with, "You need to go home now".  So I gathered up my tears and I got behind the wheel of the Toyota I had been driving at the time and headed home.  I don't even remember the drive.  I just remember having to constantly wipe away the tears that threatened to drown me.  

The possibility that I may have cut someone off by accident on that drive home is highly plausible.  Did that person curse me out?  Did it make them feel better?  I wouldn't know.  I was too preoccupied by shock and grief.  But I am sorry if I cut anyone off.  Just like I am sure that whoever else is out there and finds themselves in a predicament of being late, or suffering, or rushing to the hospital for whatever reason, they are sorry too.  Right?

Maybe we should keep in mind that sometimes life isn't nice to us.  Sometimes we get hurt.  Sometimes we get lost.  We are all people.  And who are we not to be accountable and deal with our issues and come to terms with our transferences and stop inflicting our own shit on others?   

If we could all just calm down and try to have some empathy I believe that it would help us in our delivery.  It would help us see things and people for what they could be.  Hopefully people aren't out to get us on purpose, so why would we treat them that way?  

Why would we choose to "come at someone" instead of talking to them?  Why would we choose to put someone on the defensive instead of inviting them to engage with us?  Who are we to put ourselves on such a pedastel that we would ever talk down to someone or treat them with disrespect?   

We are all in this together and it is so very important for us all to remember that we get what we give out.  The way we choose to interact with others sets the precedence for what the Universe will give back to us.  If we are that angry then we will find ourselves in situations that keep us angry.  If we are happy people we will see and find the happiness in everything around us.   

If we can train ourselves to be soothing, unruffled, and even-tempered then we will be more apt to approach life and our fellow inhabitants with peace, serenity and kindness.  

How about the next time someone does something that offends you or cuts you off, you stop and think something positive in their direction.  Hope that everything works out for them and move on with your life.  Wishing harmony for others can help you know it for yourself.

Wouldn't you want someone to treat you with kindness if the shoe was on the other foot?




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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

A Much Needed Reminder

  

The beauty of viewing the world as it is being seen thru the eyes of a child means possessing the gift of seeing everything for the first time over and over.  Seeing in color, comparing shapes, wondering at the smallest insect as it carries 10 times it’s weight. 

Trying things for the first time.  Taking your first step and it holds you up.  We take new first steps everyday.  Embrace them.  Recognize them.  We step into a new job, into a new relationship, into the unknown.  We step into new decisions, new directions, and new philosophies. 

Life is full of beautiful surprises. Look up but don’t forget to occasionally glance at where you are stepping.  Look forward but periodically take a glance in your rear view.   Take account of where you’ve been.  Contemplate where you are.  Find appreciation for all the steps you have taken.  Whether they took you forward or they took you back. It’s in the two steps back process that we are given a second opportunity to find the treasure we missed the first time. 

Be in constant contact with your inner child and you shall know an unconditional, courageous, determination to take it all in.  

Take a look.  See things for the first time.  The ocean at it’s calmest with its glass like surface will show you yourself if you let it.  An overnight storm will create forty foot waves bringing unprecedented excitement to the surfer riding the tube.  The glaciers of Alaska over the bluest of waters covered under ice are like something of fairytales and tinker bells.   The sound of a plane becomes a reminder of someone who is going to visit a long lost friend.   The Himalayas inspire the climber to reach beyond any limitations. Large thousand year old trees that stand majestic with history.  Your first box of shrinky-dink’s.

Listen to your life and the energy that surrounds you because it has so much to say.  This ever-present approach shall lead to coincidences that leave you feeling extremely connected to the world.   Having undeniable faith that the world will give you what you ask of it so you are careful what you ask for.   Whenever you see a dandelion, make a wish.  Find the love and empathy in our exchanges with strangers because they can’t.  

Being able to take a deep breath, lend a helping hand and share a smile with a neighbor.  Look around you at least once a day and say "Thank You So Much".  Give respect to a child so he may hold on to his free will just a little bit longer.  Being thankful and gracious and showing gratitude for the little things will keep you smiling all day long.  Being humble and open to new possibilities will find you going with the flow of this ever-changing thing that we call life.  

Appreciate all that has come before.  Yet live in your intention for the future and you shall find yourself embracing what is now.  This precious moment is a gift.  The present.

When we live in our moments we have found true love and it is with this love that all things will grow and the birds will spread their wings and the flowers will bloom and you will live to your true potential.

There is no gift greater that we can give ourselves, then the gift of living with the wonderment of a child.

What do you see?



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Words on Screen & Words on Paper

  • Blink, Malcolm Gladwell
  • Casablanca (1942)
  • Chocolat (2000)
  • Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffer, Ph.D.
  • Harold and Maude (1971)
  • Invictus (2009)
  • On The Waterfront (1954)
  • Singin in the Rain (1952)
  • The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield
  • The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz
  • The Greatest Salesman in the World, Og Mandino
  • The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
  • The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra
  • The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
  • The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff
  • The Wizard of Oz (1939)
  • West Side Story (1961)
  • What Happy People Know, Dan Baker

Listening

  • Use Somebody, Kings of Leon
  • You're Beautiful, James Blunt
  • Love, Love, Love, Tristan Prettyman
  • Just Fine, Mary J. Blige
  • Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson
  • You and Me, Dave Matthews
  • Just Breathe, Pearl Jam
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