The Paradox of Wonder

Always the constant wonderer it was inevitable that I get to the crux of it all. Well, to the crux of where I am today.  We all know this could change when the wind changes direction.  But for now, I find myself accepting me for everything I have ever done and for all the things I have tried, tested, passed and failed at and I have had yet another glorious epiphany.

I find myself embarking on yet another journey.  But this time I have not been questioning it.  I am taking the moments as they come and I find myself doing what is needed to be done.  The happiness finds me waking to the possibilities that my new endeavor is unfolding before my very eyes.  Proof that the life we live is for a reason.  All the many steps we have ever taken were necessary to get to where we are today.

Dharma?  Quite possibly.  Because if we are doing what we are supposed to be doing then the path of least resistance shall lay itself out before us like the yellow brick road.  It's only if we choose to trust and stay the course that the proof of our destiny will unfold.

Basking in the happiness of my current journey I took a good long look at my own history.  My wondering why I was always reinventing myself and how I could wear so many hats has been revealed.  I have seen the consequences of each and every door I have ever walked through and the occasional window I jumped out of.

Memory lane shows me the significance of my choices and I am left being nothing but grateful for the opportunities, adversities and the accomplishments.

If it wasn't for working in advertising I wouldn't know how to market my new idea. If it wasn't for the awareness of what being in transference can do to our current relationships, I wouldn't have the relationship I have now with my sister. If it wasn't for working in production I wouldn't know how to keep my project on budget. If it wasn't for me being moved around a lot, I wouldn't be as adept at conforming to any circumstance.  If it wasn't for me being on my own, I wouldn't be this independent. If it wasn't for me being hurt, I wouldn't be this humble.  If it wasn't for me working in restaurants, I wouldn't be this social.  If it wasn't for me working in sales, I wouldn't know that for every no we are closer to that yes.  If it wasn't for me always wondering, I wouldn't know that the world will give you what you ask of it.

This "if it wasn't for" list goes on and on and gives me so much to be thankful for.  The courage it takes to make a list like this can help you see into a side of you that you didn't know existed.   You may find you are in your wrong job or with the wrong person or you may find that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.  Either way is great news and can help you continue down your path or encourage you to try a different route at the next fork in your road.

In all of this I am accepting myself as I am and with that has come some great strides. I know I have the habit of constantly contradicting myself.  It can be exhausting to the people around me and even to me sometimes.  But I keep the faith that I will work it out and figure out the message to my scattered behavior.  And I realized something very spectacular in all of this...

On my current journey, I am focussed and centered and know what I want and where I am going.  I don't feel inconsistent or scattered.  My answers are precise and my direction is forward.

My investigations into my own behaviors have proved the perfect paradox of wonder.

Have you been doing any wondering?

On the Other Side of Life

It's working.  Not being a survivor is serving me well.  I ask for help when I need it and yet I still fend for myself.  I know that everything is falling into place and I am not forcing it.  I am living with intention and the luck has found it's way to me.  I have faith in who I am and yet I am still challenging the power of my subconscious mind.

In essence I have been practicing the art of doing nothing.  I don't mean nothing in the true sense of the word.  I mean nothing as in I am not stressing over what I must have.  I am enjoying what I do have.  I am not worried about tomorrow because I am to busy embracing today.  I am not worrying about what the future holds because I am living in the moment.

A moment holds many variables.  A lot can happen in a moment.  In one single moment, I can take a deep breath as I take in the life happening around me...  a bird chirps for it's mother and a sea lion jumps into the ocean off the dock, I over hear someone say, "I love you" and that brings a smile to my face, then someone starts up a boat in the distance as a family of ducks walks by looking for crumbs.  And just when the moment is almost up my puppy jumps into my lap to lick my face and the moment ends to the sound of me laughing.

Life is what we make of it and what we make of our life starts with what we think about ourselves and the life we are living.  Thoughts become things and what we dwell on becomes our reality.  Let go of the labels and the limiting beliefs.  Let go of the judgements of yourself and of others.  Live and let live.  Relinquish the control.  Feel the fear and do it anyway.  De-brainwash yourself.

Cut out the negative thoughts by replacing them with a positive counterpart.  In the beginning just simply saying the word "positive" when you think something negative will stop the thought dead in it's tracks.  Trick yourself into believing the best of everything and the best of everything will find you. Do whatever it takes and say whatever you have to say to yourself to know that we create our own destiny.

We are responsible for our own lives and our lives are meant to be great!  Life on the other side is filled with success at my endeavors, fulfilling exchanges with my friends, love in my heart, and acceptance for my mistakes as lessons learned.

My grandfather told me a story once that stuck with me my entire life (sometimes I just forget the story and I have to remind myself of it's message)
There was a guy walking down the street feeling really sorry for himself.  He let the pity get the best of him until he just couldn't take it anymore.. He leaned himself against a wall and slowly slid himself down the wall until he was sitting in the gutter crying like a child.  He was so self absorbed and lost in his wallowing over the fact that he didn't have any shoes that he hadn't noticed that he sat down next to another man and when he looked over at the guy... he had no feet.

What side of your life are you living on?