The Art of Letting Go

It's been a while since we had a "check in" so today is the day.  I for one had a very interesting epiphany this evening.  It's possible that my lucid coherence to the facts brings me a step closer to grasping the art of letting go. For this I am thankful and I am also very aware that my deepest moments of recognition come when I am overtired and overworked.  This is an interesting concept onto itself, "When we are too tired to fight ourselves, we have no choice but to be open, and it is in this openness that our true answers are revealed"

Even though my day started at 4am for the second day in a row, it was inevitable that I find a way to nourish my body. Taking myself on an evening run in this beautiful weather on the sandy beach of the Marina peninsula gave me a priceless moment of clarity. While there is excitement at the revelation there is also a sense of awe. We certainly are an interesting breed with intricate layers to our emotions, patterns and roots.

Does my awareness mean it's possible that moving on from this pattern is finally within my reach?

One can only hope.

Since most of my childhood was spent trying to establish a relationship with my mother that she wasn't cable of having, it was unavoidable that one of my patterns would find me wanting what I couldn't have. Interestingly enough, when it comes to my friendships and my work I have been quite successful at fulfilling my dreams and establishing long lasting connections.

Relationships have been a whole other story. After my five year relationship I settled into the insight that maybe I am the one that is emotionally unavailable. That turning into our parents is inescapable and thus my fate was sealed. But the awareness gave me a realization. Being cognizant is half the battle. I convinced myself that I could rise above the low vibrational level and be available to the possibility.

One of my best friends told me once that when you date someone you should be left feeling elevated by the exchanges, cherished as a person and motivated to be the best you, you can be. This information nuzzled its way into my heart and I started walking in its footsteps.

This new vibrational level has me accepting my shortcomings, embracing my quirks, and loving my sense of independence. My flirtatious nature finds my eyes sparkling and I have found my happy. While some dates have left me wondering if dating was for me at all, one interesting encounter left me breathless. The good thing is I now know what I am capable of. I am having fun feeling again, being sexy, and embracing the adoration. But here in lies the rub.

What do you do when the connection is there but the person isn't going to be for months on end? Do you wait when you are supposed to be living your life and finding someone to share it with? Do you spend months missing each other and sharing how you wish you were together or do you set it free?

My precarious nature wants the world and everything in it. It's hard to let go of things sometimes. Especially when big parts of those things make you feel amazing but the choice must be made to live in the moment. We can't stop our lives for risk it will hinder our growth. Everything happens for a reason and there is someone for everyone. Time holds so many secrets and if we really can manifest our own destiny (and I believe we can) we just need to be more specific about our needs, wants and prerequisites.

It's time to take this experiment a step further and see just how far awareness can go in making sure our patterns relinquish control to our true nature. Have you had any pattern shifts lately?


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Not so Clueless

A friend of mine writes the blog, bachelorpadinfo.com.  I think it's such a great idea and full of great information.  Not just for bachelors either.  The discussion of taking care of your place got me thinking.

The things we do, how we live and the people we hang out with say a lot about who we are.  And it also says a lot about where we are in the current moment of our lives.  We can actually use the state of our living spaces to check in with ourselves and see how we are feeling about things.

Does your bed get made every morning?  Are the dishes in the dishwasher or still dirty in the sink piling up for days?  Are your clean clothes put away or have they found a permanent residence on the chair by your bed?

When I am at most my productive I feel really good about myself.  And when I feel good about myself the items around my home seem to find their way to their rightful places.  But when I am feeling out of sorts things just got messy.

It's kind of like when we don't deal with our emotions.  For every emotion there is a physical attachment.  And if we don't deal with our stuff it has to come out some how.  For me, when something is bothering me that I don't know how to deal with, I rearrange my furniture.  It helps me in the moment but it doesn't miraculously give me the answers I seek.  What I have come to realize is that our living spaces really are an extension of us.

When I move the furniture around I am just shuffling around the emotions I don't understand.  I am not engaging in ground breaking epiphanies. Rearranging the furniture is nothing but a temporary fix.  A reshuffling.  A distraction.

When my place is in order and my clothes are put away and my bed is made, I am in a place of confidence.  I am focussed and happy and my place is a reflection of my current state of mind.

Right now I am struggling with the friendship I made and have been talking a lot about.  Patience.  Waiting is hard for me.  I live at a productions pace and while I know the rest of the world doesn't move this fast I can't help but want immediate gratification.  Right now patience has handcuffed itself to me whether I wanted the visit or not.  While I wait, I have come down with a cold and a cough and I haven't made my bed and my clean clothes lay in wait on the chair. I have been going to the office everyday prepping a commercial which has been a much needed distraction but I realize today that my hiding behind my work is a form of moving the furniture around.

Today I have a day off and I am feeling distracted and unmotivated in my waiting.  My inability to speed up the process or be in control leaves me considering moving the furniture around again.  But then I remembered the importance in the lessons and the importance in resting and healing when we are sick.

You know what?  Sometimes it's okay to just be.  Sometimes it's okay to have your place a mess if you're feeling kind of messy or you're too busy or you're distracted.

Sometimes the messages around us are so obvious and yet so profound.  There is something to be learned in everything we see, feel, hear, touch and smell.  If we are willing to heed the lessons they can be everywhere we look.  Little clues, indicators and signs of what our souls need most.  Today my messages came from the state of my living space.  Who knows what tomorrow holds.

Awareness is a truth I am willing to confide in.  Are you?



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