Opening the Lines of Communication

Photo courtesy of Martin Linss

For the most part, everyone has access to their own very vivid imagination. And even if you don't always realize you are doing it, you are retrieving information from your own mind and filling in the blanks. This can reek chaos on your life and your relationships. You don't want your life to be a random game of telephone do you?

Asking questions can be unnerving. You don't want people to think you aren't listening or you don't understand or that you're prying. But in order for the lines of communication to work you must be open to the give and take of information. The only way to get the facts is to ask the questions. You don't want to make assumptions.

Making assumptions means you don't have all the answers to form a conclusion so you are going to add your own fillers to make the story make sense. The implications of this kind of conjecture leads to disagreements and arguments and it can even lead to distrust.

To help in the process of transforming your life you need to find the courage to inquire. When you express with each other what your wants are you are not leaving any chance for misunderstandings. When you are clear with each other you avoid drama. When you are honest with each other you invoke confidence. Without room for assumptions the truths are exhibited and trust is born.

Also, keep in mind that you must be accountable too. Skirting around issues, giving half truths or not telling a whole story leads to insecurity. Some people are prone to this way of communicating. This is not well suited for everyone. People speak different languages and come with their own versions of baggage and the best way to get through life is to find people who's baggage matches yours.

It is also important that you honor your boundaries and you trust your intuition. If you feel someone isn't being honest with you and you find yourself making assumptions than maybe your lines of communication are not compatible or maybe that person just isn't worthy of your trust. This is a possibility not to be overlooked. Why would you want to be with someone who isn't honest with you?

Relationships and friendships are meant to be uplifting and inspiring not draining and confusing. By now you should know the difference. Heed the warnings of the red flags and let your intuition give you the insight into your own happiness. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and don't be afraid to walk away.

Healthy communication is a key to long term exuberance and when this door opens anything is possible.

Are your lines open?



To read more about assumptions check out the book The Four Agreements, by  Don Miguel Ruiz.