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Friday, September 30, 2011

Catch It

It never ceases to amaze me how powerful life is. Life constantly throws us Universal curve balls and it's up to us to either hit it out of the park only to have the ball come back to us another way or to simply catch it, study it and learn from it.

I've been really tested lately (obviously since I am still talking about it). For a moment there I just kept swinging. I got caught up in someone else's game and I didn't realize how many innings I had played. Argh!

I hold steadfast to my position that if we follow the Universal rules, justice will always prevail.

Once I caught the ball and walked off the field I was able to see things for what they really are. I was able to seek the proper assistance to help me see the light and in the end I find myself extremely happy with my growth and the outcome. I am protected from harm and have the right people on my team.

It's funny how, no matter how big the lesson I am always left elated by the epiphanies. Does this happen to you?

Everything really does happen for a reason, we just have to find a way to keep the faith. We can't let fear hold us back (and it will). We have to cut all chords, ties and binds and deflect the energy away from us.

We have to speak with conviction and insist for ourselves that we only invite the very best in people, place and things into our lives. 

The cool thing is, every lesson we get through makes us better people, thank God.

Next time a ball is thrown at you, don't engage! Just catch the ball and go sit in the dugout so you can figure out why you were the recipient. Learn from it and you will come out a winner.


Monday, September 26, 2011

Tunnel Vision

photo courtesy of

A friend asked me recently where I drew my inspiration from. If there was a teacher or a process or some other means my entries might come from.  At the time, there was no concrete answer.

And after coming through yet another very dark tunnel I realize that the answers are all around us. They are in the advise from a friend, an answered prayer, an epiphany during meditation, a page in a book, a sign in the subway, a billboard on the side of the road.

When we are honest with ourselves and face our fears that's where the answers are. If we give in to what is hurting us and mourn the losses, we are healing the layers of life that have been covered by so many bandaids. Within the questions we are asked, may lie the answers that we seek. When we are humble enough to admit we can't do it alone that is when the help comes.

Faith really can move mountains. Determination gives us confidence. Failure means we are that much closer to success. Taking chances breeds self-esteem.
Living with integrity will open us up to more opportunities.

We all have a lot to be thankful for and the answers come when we least expect them.

For me, even though I am on my own and my family are all gone, my friends never cease to show up for me. I wasn't born with a silver spoon but I am resourceful. Embracing the love around me will comfort me in my darkest hour. And I now know completely, unconditionally, totally and unequivocally, that I am not alone.

And either are you.


Sunday, September 25, 2011


By now, the darkness knows me on a first name basis. It comes to visit me like a family member you only see on holidays but with it's arrival comes the most profound breakthroughs.

When I look back over the years and the many visits, it has been during these times that I have been the most open. The humility born from admission does make us stronger. When the darkness comes I know I will come out on the other side equipped with answers, astutely peaceful and thankfully wiser.

Surrendering to the lesson is not always easy. We are never just handed what we want, we are presented what we need. 

I am reminded that I can't hide. Our lives want us to listen and hiding behind work or mindless activities can only sustain us for so long. For the first time in a long time, I didn't fight it. I stayed in the silence and gave myself over with undeniable faith and the vulnerability, while frightening at first, in the end was what saved me.

It's not the change that's scary or the growth that can be overwhelming. It's that I finally recognize that every time the darkness leaves it takes with it another layer of who I thought was.

The darkness helps me say good-bye to another piece of my past that I cannot change. It shows me when I am in transference and that I am safe from harm. It gives me comfort so I can mourn the people that aren't here anymore.

The darkness gives me a new layer of courage so that I may find my way back to the light.


Saturday, September 24, 2011


The weak can never forgive. 
 Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. 
                                                                                                                             ~Mohandas Gandhi 

Another dip, turn, bend, slow decent on the roller coaster and it seems to be never-ending. The vulnerability forgets what was said yesterday and can't seem to see the future.  All in one fell-swoop the negativity came and carried me away on it's magic carpet. The stress of it all has found me physically ill as proof that, that which we don't deal with emotionally will manifest itself physically.

But once we let go physically, comprehension follows. Through the childlike sobs of my yesterday, I gave in to the cleansing that can only happen when ones gives them self over implicitly.  

The tears started falling as I pulled up to my street and as the car door closed behind me I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold on.  The depression was too much for me to handle and the sobs that followed would eventually make me laugh but not before they would have me surrender to my truths. Out loud I voiced my fears. I admitted what hurt. I confessed that some things were beyond my control. I let the tears take me. I let go.

I've had to walk on eggshells for most of my life.  Tiptoeing around the possibility that one false move or breath would disrupt the quiet that often claimed our household.  A brilliant but sometimes volatile entity at the helm of our clan taught me that I have no tolerance for bullies and yet they are everywhere. And no matter how hard we try, for some, nothing we do will ever be good enough.

With acknowledgment comes a lesson. We really do surround ourselves with that which we know and if we don't figure out how to rise above the vibrational level of the pattern we will find ourselves stuck on the ride going around in circles.

There's only so much we can do before we resign ourselves to the admission that a quest on principle alone will lead to disappointment. Some people will go to any lengths to win. Some people don't know that not everything has to be a fight. I happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Again.

I have fought most of life just to survive and I don't want to fight anymore. My tears have taught me well. I'm done fighting. It's not even my fight anyway.

If my self-preservation has taught me anything, it is that everything really does happen for a reason and this too shall pass.


Sunday, September 18, 2011

Not An Option

Power statements will help us stay on our right path. When faced with adversity or negativity you can actually rise above the circumstance by empowering yourself to do so.

Temptations are plenty, and we need to have the courage to know what uplifts us and what is holding us back. When tempted by that which you know is not good for you, simply tell yourself emphatically, "It's Not An Option" and walk away.  

People can easily invade our dance space, and we need to know that for the most part it's not personal.  Some people are so trapped in transference, they are blinded by it and know not what they do. When tempted to engage in this negative behavior, simply tell yourself without any doubt, "It's Not An Option" and walk away.

Boundaries are often crossed, and we need to adhere to the fact that we shouldn't be walking around with a chain fence around us anyway. They are tests. It's a big world out there and we are going to encounter all kinds of people and circumstances that try to get the best of us.  When tempted by an altercation, simply tell yourself authoritatively, "It's Not An Option" and walk away.

When we stay in our place of power our invisible shields of protection will preserve our free-will. Know in your heart that karma really is a boomer-rang.  When given the opportunity to have empathy choose to do so.  The more you stay in your place of positivity the more gifts you will receive in life.

Know that anyone or anything that comes at us trying to take us from our place of power happens to be lost.  And also know that any negativity that is thrusted toward us, if not received will bounce back ten fold.  Knowing this, try to use your power to bathe the negativity in light and then toss it back, multiplying ten fold.  Know they are blinded by whatever hurts they have experienced. You can see things for what they really are. You can walk away.

When you are in a place of empowerment, spreading love is the only option.

What do you choose?

Photo Courtesy of

Friday, September 16, 2011


There is a lot to be said for silence.

The quiet brings with it answers. The solitude invokes revelations. The peace opens the door to insight.

Step in and quietly express your greetings and salutations. Whisper your thanks in advance as you settle yourself and let your thoughts take you where they want to go. Un-obstruct your third eye's view and listen to the guidance your life is trying to teach you.

Whether you call it prayer, meditation or contemplation your reflection will present itself when you find the humility to surrender and the courage to be accountable.

Close your eyes and take a deep nurturing breath. Let the world fade away and your thoughts subside and welcome the silence, for it is through this silence that our true reflections shall be revealed.

What do you see?


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Please Return To Your Seat

It's not that I'm not happy. Happiness holds onto to me like the leap of joy. But sometimes the indulgence in the dichotomy reminds me I have depth, even if it's not always understood.

There happens to be a little turbulence so I unstrap myself to see where the ride takes me. My temperature is running a little high and the rebellion can't help but show, revealing my precarious nature that I have come to love and know.

My mother has been gone so long I've forgotten what she used to call me and thoughts of how things are supposed to be never fail to find me.  Why can't I just be who I feel like in any given moment. I love where the wind always takes me, the lonesome wolf of indifference.

Sometimes there's nothing to figure out. You can be a contradiction. It's not being your own worst dichotomy when you write your own definition.

Being on so many right paths threatens to get the best of me sometimes. It can be hard to differentiate when your always drawing within the lines.

It's okay when you are at your best alone and your thoughts are undeniable. It doesn't matter who is watching, when you feel like picking up a crayon and drawing.

Just be you in all your moments and own it.


Friday, September 9, 2011

Catch Me

        Have you ever stumbled and then fell and then decided to just stay put and see what you could learn?  Did you know that when you fall if you turn yourself around to look up that you could see it all?  

        The world is a really big place and there are lots of lessons, and tons to do, and so much to take in.  And sometimes when you let yourself go and you open yourself up to whatever has come to take hold of you, that's when you learn. Have faith and the world will catch you. Be vulnerable and the magic happens. When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.

        When was the last time you tripped?  What did you learn?


Thursday, September 1, 2011

Confidence In a Bottle

Happiness has found me. I have found my way. My Self has taken hold again with courage and vulnerability. The day brings the sunshine and I am set free. The wonderful flight of Johnathan Livingston Seagall and all is quite alright. The beauty that fills me has my willingness restored. Hope in the orchestra and the violin plays a quiet chord. The harp shall be my heart and the drums my future. No more of your confidence in a bottle. Severing the ties from the past. It's time to see what I want to see. Smiling eyes and meet me on a rail train. Drink my Shirley temple and I will eat the ice. Kiss me. Speak to me and I shall be lost in you forever. Pleasurable enlightenments and I am just a girl embracing life. Looking toward the journey and it's the yellow brick road. An optimistic traveling no need to say a word. Hazel eyes stand by holding on to the truth.  Many years of mishap and a misguided youth. Time to embrace the splendor brought on by happiness and insight. Time to drink up.

Photo Courtesy of Bamboo Waterfall by ~ExquisiteDistraction on deviantART

Words on Screen & Words on Paper

  • Blink, Malcolm Gladwell
  • Casablanca (1942)
  • Chocolat (2000)
  • Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffer, Ph.D.
  • Harold and Maude (1971)
  • Invictus (2009)
  • On The Waterfront (1954)
  • Singin in the Rain (1952)
  • The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield
  • The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz
  • The Greatest Salesman in the World, Og Mandino
  • The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
  • The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra
  • The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
  • The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff
  • The Wizard of Oz (1939)
  • West Side Story (1961)
  • What Happy People Know, Dan Baker


  • Use Somebody, Kings of Leon
  • You're Beautiful, James Blunt
  • Love, Love, Love, Tristan Prettyman
  • Just Fine, Mary J. Blige
  • Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson
  • You and Me, Dave Matthews
  • Just Breathe, Pearl Jam