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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Trigger Inspirations

The scent of a certain perfume invokes a long lost memory, the sight of a red balloon reminds you of your childhood, a song takes you back to a time almost forgotten.
Memories are a funny thing and it would seem, sometimes, they have a mind of their own. They can come out of nowhere and take us by surprise and they can change our temperament with just a fleeting glimpse.  While they can uplift us, they can also emotionally cripple us.  They can keep us stuck and they can ruin a good thing with a drop of a hat.
Like with everything in our lives, we have the power to pick and choose how our memories affect us.While it is inevitable...

Friday, December 30, 2011

Dare to Dream

I’ve been moved by a movie.  A place where visions come to life, messages are there for the taking and dreams really do come true. Movies represent life. They are adaptations of someones version of a story. They can be based on real life or make believe. They can be silent or they can be quite loud and clear.
For most of us life has held some kind of struggle. It’s all relative and it is up to us to choose what we do with the cards we have been dealt.  For some, they never realize they had a choice while for others they will do anything to rise above whatever struggle comes their way. Maybe it’s time we pull out the cards we were dealt and do magic tricks.
Life is full of magic and wonder and it should be the ultimate adventure. Life will give...

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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Age of Time

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.”
                                                                                                                ~ Albert Einstein

My post yesterday caused a bit of a stir.  I am not in a bad place, I am just finally following through on a promise to myself to stop candy coating my emotions. But also on the same token I realize something, the need for a new promise.  If I am tired, just plain and simply, had a long few weeks with hardly any sleep, working over 14 hours a day, kind of tired, then I shall own up to the fact that I need some rest.  Time to stop being so hard on myself and making everything bigger than it is. Perhaps there is no need to find hidden meanings or question life's patterns when in fact exhaustion is the culprit. 

But where is the fun in that and however will the W Chaser in me survive without dissecting every little when, why, where, who and what of every situation?

It would seem lately that when my body completely shuts down my mind opens. Just when...

photo courtesy of

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Unravel the Ribbon

Writers block has consumed me but my thoughts have been relentless. I let myself get wrapped up in the ideology of “if you don’t have something positive to say, then don’t say anything at all”.
Well, the truth is, the truth isn’t always positive. Sometimes the truth is just down right contrary to popular demand. If you’re searching for answers sometimes you have to look in places that were long since forgotten. You have to get out of your comfort zone and you have to get your hands dirty. I am now long over due for a manicure.
I’m not feeling negative but some might think it’s cynical.  I’m not unhappy but some might think it’s gloomy. I can’t always cater to the masses and periodically I have to engage in the I syndrome so I can get clear.
2012 is almost upon us and...

to read on click here...

Thursday, December 1, 2011

A Miracle and An Announcement

In honor of hitting over 15,000 readers, please join me at my new address...

(I've posted about my awesome miracle too!) 

Thank you everyone for your continued support and 
thank you BlogSpot for being such a gracious host.  

Much Love! 

Peace, Love & Light,

Pepper Carlson

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

0 Visibility

Don't be afraid of the dark. You can reveal your true purpose in the mystery. When you are forced to sit still you are unequivocally getting to know yourself. While the unknown may be scary, these kinds of tests can catapult you into your calling. Can you tap into the fear and see if you have the courage to see it through?

Remember, wherever you go, there you are. So don't try to hide behind your spouse, or best friend, or your job. Don't run off to the gym, or go jogging or drinking. Don't camouflage it behind whatever hobby, service or action you have come up with in your life to protect yourself. It's not protecting you.

Whatever it is, it's a crutch. You are enabling yourself to stay the same. You are stifling your possibilities with the hustle and bustle. You are not encouraging yourself to grow and you can't overcome the darkness if you run from it. 

Quiet yourself. If you don't face the dark it will always catch up to you anyway. So why not stop, be still and see where it takes you? Don't put on your boxing gloves, put out your arms to hug yourself. Don't blast the music, make it as quiet as you can. 

If you trust it, the darkness will show you your true passions, intentions, and desires. Important discoveries can be found when we follow our inner path. We can plant new affirmations for ourselves that help us be better people. We will  invoke peace in our hearts so that we may know humility. We are beings made from love and the most important love of all is the love we show ourselves. 

Isn't it time you set yourself free from the darkness?


Sunday, November 27, 2011

Some Assembly Required

Beautifully warm weather on the water and the rippling reminds me of moving forward. With a strong sense of propriety I've decided my hand-book must be missing pages but beating to my own drum has served me well. Missteps and mayhem keep the humor alive and it's ironic that I have a sense of comedic timing at all.

One step forward and two steps back and thank God for second chances.

While not being privy to all of the instructions may be cause for alarm, our common sense should be able to fill in the blanks. Life is a like a game of ad-libs. Venture to follow the culprit of necessary struggles, and here in lies the rub. It's in the struggles that we can become friends with our sunny disposition.

If everything was easy, who would that make us? When putting ourselves together we need to have some faith. We need to know when to use a little WD40 to loosen our grasp and when we should take out the wrench to help reign it all in.

Assimilate all there is to be thankful for and widen your reach. When you find yourself somewhere, you just don't fit, laugh it off. Embrace the differences of every piece of the puzzle. Accept that what you bring to the table might just round out the edges.

Don't be homogenized in someone else's scrabble game. Know who you are and spell it out loud and clear. Even if sometimes you are missing a letter, don't let it keep you from being you. As long as you are learning and thinking outside the box you are automatically adjusting according to size.

Don't be afraid that a little assembly is required. Keep rolling the dice and see where it takes you. There are usually a few bolts left over anyway, right? Hold on to those like a monopoly piece. Let them be your get out of jail free cards.

What are you going to do with yours?


Friday, November 25, 2011

Release the Hold

It is a great thing to know our vices.
                                                                                  Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)

For those of you of have ever struggled with a vice, you know that the grip can be as strong as an anchor at the bottom of the sea. It can render you immobile, keep you struggling and it can drown you. There is no grey area. It encourages us to fight or to give in. It tempts us and taunts us and threatens to be perfect. It makes false promises and gives us hope of temporary courage. It lets us see what we want to see. The mirror mirror on the wall and who's the fairest of them all?

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
                                                               Abraham Lincoln 

Not having the gift of mortality lends itself to a sense of getting it right, right now. There is integrity in the honesty.  Their is hope in the fortitude of the approach. Your moral fiber isn't covered in sin. You just branded yourself a survivor so you could overcome the memories. You buried your thought process behind the misguided representation of a life left behind. You did what you had to do to face the day.

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
                                                              Sir Winston Churchill

Whatever habits you picked up along the way, you did it because you needed someone or something you didn't know how to ask for. Or you thought your prayers went unanswered or the strife of time became too much for you and you couldn't hold on. It alludes to the fact (whether you want to admit it or not) that you are human and deep down below the surface you are ready to release the hold. 

Our greatest virtue will always be the art of humility. It is in weakness that there can be strength. It is in bewilderment that there can be courage. It is in admission that there can be freedom. When released from the clutch of your internal story, you realize things will inevitably be different. 

You won't need recognition. You will trust that your honor holds great promise. You will settle in to being who you were meant to be and you won't be afraid to see who that is. 

What are you holding on to?

photo from

Thursday, November 24, 2011


Early morning overcast above the rippling ocean and the birds pretend they're not paying attention. Inanimate objects come to life as eyes open, boat engines rev and a sea lion says good morning in the distance.

Thoughtful moments and somewhere laughing children play in the snow. Your past catches up to you and you're reminded of your moms home cooking and you wish she was still alive. Being alone isn't always lonely and tears a long lost friend. Someone out there never even knew their mom and you remind yourself how lucky you are.

So much to be thankful for and you hope the angels hear your prayers.

Dearest God, Universe, Buddha, Angels,

Please help us all.  Please help us be humble, grateful, plentiful, and giving. Please help us be nicer to each other. Please help us be respectful. Please help us go out of our way to make others lives easier. Please help us behave toward others as we would have others behave towards us.

Please help us give a helping hand whenever we can because we are the fortunate. Please help us remember that we represent the few and we are capable, willing and able so we must put that to good use.

Please help us remember how fortunate we are while others sleep in the streets. Let's find a way to help them. Please help us remember how courageous we are while others lay scared in hiding. Let's find a way to help them. Please help us be gentle with the elderly for if it wasn't for them we wouldn't be here. Let's find a way to help them.

Please help us take notice of a wounded child for they are our future. Let's find a way to help them. Please help us bring laughter to the sad for we no not what made them unhappy. Let's find a way to help them. Please help the greedy find a way to give. Let's find a way to help them. Please help us be thankful for what we have but remember those less fortunate. Let's find a way to help them.

Please help us remember that life is fragile and can be taken away at any given moment. Please find a way to help us help ourselves so we may uplift our global consciousness to a state of service. Please help us not feel entitled because we can lose it all tomorrow. Please help us remember what matters and to know that it's not what we have but what we do with it.

Please help us know in our heart of hearts that we are all the same, we are all people and we all deserve to be treated equally. Please help us be humble, grateful, plentiful, and giving. Please help us all.

Amen, Namaste, Om

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Quiet Please

It seems as of late, there hasn't been much to say. There have even been moments when the thought of never writing again didn't scare me. Maybe it's all been said, maybe the exhaustion got the best of me, maybe the quiet was just too perfect.

When something moves you, follow your instinct and see where it leads.  When you're tired get some rest.  When you are feeling lethargic force yourself to exercise.  When you're life isn't working the way you would like it to, change it.

The unhappiness and negativity surrounding my living space finally hit home. It was breeding like a cancer and the only evident cure became to adhere to the proverbial vortex and wait it out. It wasn't easy to relinquish the control that was fooling me all along but the key would be to stop engaging. To just be quiet.

In the vulnerability was the hope of something new. In the quiet were the answers. In the peace, it was okay to wait. There was prayer, and meditation and rethinking objectives. There was determination and humility and embracing new beginnings. There was some fear but it was overcome by the power of prayer and meditation. When you believe in the powers that be a funny thing happens, the world will give you what you ask of it.

What is your quiet telling you?


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Pocket full of Empty

Time passes and doesn't ever wait. Like a train in the night it will show us the scenery if we can focus long enough on the landscape whizzing by.  We jump off from time to time to see what's in store for us and when we're ready, we get back on.

Rustling through our pockets we find our ticket, stamped over time like the passport of a world traveler.  Branded once again we stuff it back away and we head down the aisle to find our new seat.  We have no luggage here. We have our armor, our knowledge, and our memories.

Traveling through the experiences we're lucky if we learn something. We learn to treat people a little nicer. We commit to not engaging in negativity.  We familiarize ourselves with hope.  We acquire skills that ensure our successes. We embrace humility so our mistakes will catapult us forward.  We become proficient in self forgiveness. We memorize what makes us happy. We hold hands when we feel alone.  We try to smile when we feel sad.  We establish relationships that make us want to be better people.  We stay away from those that bring us down.  We soak up the beauty in life. We gain comprehension. We assimilate growth. We love.

We commit to being along for the ride and we are open to where it might take us.  We reinvent ourselves when is needed and we embrace the change. We don't always make calculated guesses and sometimes we throw caution to the wind.  

Sometimes the sound of coming to a stop wakes us from a slumber and we realize so many stops have passed us and that's okay because now we are well rested and aware. 

It's then we realize it's time to get off and we won't be getting back on for awhile, so at the next stop we empty our pockets, letting our ticket fall to the floor, because for now, we're home.

Where's your ride taking you?

photo from

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Power Thoughts Power Words

"Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment." 
                                                      --Ira Gassen

Having been on this journey with me, the W Chaser, has probably meant that you haven't always known where this is going.  We have thrown caution to the wind and we have tried to convince ourselves that if we leap, the net really will appear.  There have been times when we wallowed, cried, and reeled at the cards we were dealt.  And there have been times when we laughed, shared and marveled at our ability to pick ourselves up again.

Sharing our experiences and encouraging each other is like watering the botanical gardens and watching the flowers bloom into a beautiful array of colorful diversity.  Life is as amazing as its occupants make it. Change doesn't just happen overnight. It's a process. It's an exercise in patience. It's the ability to share. It's spreading the word.

Words are ever powerful and it's through our words and the sharing of other peoples words that information is exchanged, plans are put into action, and movements are facilitated. 

We must think clearly and carefully before we speak and we must be intentional in our communications. Words must be chosen carefully. 

"The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something 
you haven't thought of yet". 
                                                       --Ann Landers

We can't fall prey to our past or the story we have created for ourselves. We must use our thoughts and our words to change our story.  We are moving on from the past.  And now in this moment, there's no room for excess baggage.  We are only allowed one carry on. So let's fill it with the necessary words and thoughts that will assist us in our personal evolution and leave the rest behind us.

We need to be determined to stay present so we can find our place in the collective whole.  Use your thoughts to accept where you are now. Know that every minute is what it is. Be conscious and welcome the coincidences that follow. Use them as the clues that will take you where you need to be. These clues will help you evolve into a better person.  

Let your thoughts lead you away from resistance and into acceptance. Acceptance of what is will set you free and freedom is empowerment and empowerment leads to greatness.  

Make your thoughts count so your words will matter.

You with me?

Photo courtesy of

Monday, October 17, 2011

The "I" Syndrome

        As the fog rolls in over the Marina, I can't help but be reminded of how often I have let myself be blinded by the density.  Living with your head in a cocoon can prove challenging when you are trying to break free of whatever binds that hold you. How do you let go of things in 0 visibility when you can't see in front of you?
        While the last couple of weeks have been spent searching for something new, I obtained some answers to some very old questions and just like that, I was re-introduced to the beauty and power of the Universe and the belief that change really does reside within all of us.
        The past year has been a series of tests that I am not sure I was passing. But maybe if the essay at the end holds the most merit I can redeem myself.
        In just a matter of weeks, my life has taken a huge turn down a road my heart didn't really know existed. Proof that when you are ready to make the shift the Universe will stop at nothing to assist you!
        A little back tracking mixed with some raw and vulnerable insight will be necessary in order to move this series forward. If you've been with me all year, you know that I landed a permanent seat on life's proverbial roller coaster and it's been a very bumpy ride. The band-aids had been piling up for so long, I couldn't tell which bruises were healed and which needed tending too. With the help of some friends I decided to rip them all off and what lay underneath led me to embark on another four part series. (Each series will end with the same Universal prayer. The more we all read it, the more the Universe will hear our messages). 

Part 1:  The "I" Syndrome
Part 2 - A Revolution
Part 3 - Evolution

Part 1 - The "I" Syndrome

The "I" syndrome will be different for everyone. We all have our own demons, baggage and trials and tribulations. But it's how we deal with them that matters. It's how we approach them that is relevant. It's how we rise above them that is significant.

~   I've been on the run. I have been chasing my dreams for so long I didn't even realize that I lost sight of why I had these dreams to begin with.  I've gotten selfish and driven by money.  I have been so wrapped up in how lucrative my pursuits will be that I forgot the humanity that fueled me in the first place. No wonder I am always left breathless just shy of the finish line. Chasing anything is exhausting. I haven't been making advances in my endeavors because I haven't been honest with myself. I have been so driven by how much money I need to have or the money that I have spent foolishly that I haven't been present. Until now, I have been constantly wanting, needing, chasing and going around in circles. It's time for change.

~  I have been obsessing about having a boyfriend only to realize that I wanted someone for all the wrong reasons. I was distracted and feeling alone and subconsciously thought, the answer must be to have a man in my life. As if having someone else around me would make me happy? How can I give my power away like that? Especially when it's not even realistic! I realized that the energy I was putting off was all wrong. It would be inevitable that I attract the wrong people in my life when I wasn't coming from a place of purity. When your energy is needy, clingy or desperate there is no room for anyone to enter. It's clear that I need to be independent in my own happiness and empowerment. Until now, I have been constantly wanting, needing, chasing and going around in circles. It's time for change.

~  I have been doing the same things for so long I couldn't let go of the patterns that had become my defense mechanisms. I was still getting caught up in the occasional darkness and I was starting to feel like a broken record. I came home one night not long ago with a fountain of tears streaming down my face, proof of the injustice that had become my personal life. (or so I thought) I realize now that I had subconsciously become a victim to my own existence. The pity, jealousy, and envy, at my past and everything and everyone around me left me empty. I couldn't see what important role I was here to play. I was wallowing and I needed to climb out of the trenches. Until now, I have been constantly wanting, needing, chasing and going around in circles. It's time for change.

When you hit your proverbial rock bottom, the beauty is, you can only go up from here. So once I got into my place of courage and faith of the empowerment within me, I took a good look around me and I remembered that I was here for a reason. I've always known that it was bigger than me and I have always believed that it would come to me when I was ready.  I set out on a mission to find a different kind of answer.  What I found was a movement.  

Stay tuned for Part 2 - A Revolution

Dear God, Universe, Higher Consciousness,

May you find it in your heart to help us find our true path.  Help the greedy to be humbled and help the poor for they are so many.  Please see us all through any times of hardship and despair.  May everyone have food on their tables, love for their children and roofs over their heads.  Though we may encounter conflict, strife or sorrow please help everyone to believe in themselves, each other and a bigger picture of possibilities.  May we lose our interest in power and instead find the joy in sharing.  May we give love to all whom we meet and extend a helping hand.  Let us know that a smile for a stranger goes a long way and a word of encouragement to a child can change the course of their future. Please help us not look down on those we perceive as below us, for we no not their circumstance. Let us remember that we are all creations of time and space and we can be gone tomorrow.  Please help us to persevere through our most challenging obstacles.  Guide us so that we may shine our light down the darkest of alleyways.  Please assist us on our path so that we may offer opportunities to those who are less fortunate.   Please help corporate America restructure to create more jobs.  Please help the politicians remember are the voice of the people. 

May you have faith in us that we may have faith in ourselves.  Please channel your energy through us so that we may be pathfinders for the future, proper guidance for the youth, and patience for the old that may have forgotten who they are.  Please help the leaders of the world.  Help them lead by example by pursuing peace, help them turn the global economy around, and please assist us so that the lands of war may find peace.  Please help us all help each other so that we may get through these arduous times and uplift the energy on a level of global consciousness.  May we all find peace, love, good health and prosperity.  May we wake each morning with love in our hearts, smiles on our faces, encouragement in our words and sincerity in our souls.  

May we disparage fear from our lives and evolve consciously as a whole.  Please help us to experience love, compassion and empathy toward our fellow man, woman and child.  Help us to greet each day with love in our hearts, be the master of our emotions, know we are nature's greatest miracle, and to live each day as if it were our last. 

With undeniable faith, I ask this for all of us in gratitude...

Amen, Namaste, Thank You,


Saturday, October 1, 2011

Not All Who Wonder Are Lost

Ironically, my words find me walking the symbolic streets of my journey. Sometimes, not all who wonder are lost...

Peacefulness of fervor. Confidence brings free will. The clarity shows me an open road of new direction. The firefly leads the way as I try to find the corner of Where Self Respect meets Self Esteem. You see, I’m moving. And this is where my new house will be and my new address will be marked in ink, in stone, & chiseled and bound. Past Avenue has been trying to hold me back and I have been so easily distracted.

While I stop to wipe the coffee I have spilled on my skirt the rain decides to come and help me. With a snap and latch of my umbrella I continue up Nothing Can Hold Me Down Boulevard. It seems to be a little colder up here and I am wet from the condensed moisture in the air. The wind chill is brisk and I feel as though I have been walking forever.

As I peak out from behind the umbrella I see that somehow I have entered Consternation Alley. Now how did I get in here? Wet dogs are picking through yesterdays garbage and I can hear a distraught cat meowing in the distance. He must be stuck on a fire scape somewhere. It’s dark and I have to slow my pace. Should I double back? Or should I keep moving forward? The fear grips me and I am stuck.

I can’t give in to it. I have to get myself out of this dreary alley and out of the rain. I see a break in the buildings up ahead and I make the right turn. As I emerge from the darkness I find myself on Brush Yourself Off Again Bridge and the sun is out and the rain has ceased so I shake off my umbrella and tuck it away in my purse.  The bridge lets me off at a fork in the road. I must choose now. Choose between Been Here Done That Canyon and Time For A Fresh Start Drive. I pass by the canyon with confidence knowing that I choose not to walk those winding roads again.

With a spring in my step and looking up to the sky I remember where I am headed and find myself smiling again. Heading West I proceed toward The Power Of Now Expressway.

Humming to myself, I look around at the people passing me by. I try to smile at them, to make eye contact, to say Happy New Year. But I can’t get their attention. I stop for a second to take this all in. I consider tapping someone on the shoulder to ask them if they see me. But instead I study the behavior patterns they all hold in common.

I take up stride with a couple walking toward the coffee shop. I mimic their movements and their gestures. I carry my shoulders the same way and my head follows suit. I find that we are looking at the ground. To my dismay I stop dead in my tracks. I lift my head and circling in place I realize that all of the people around me are also staring at the ground. No wonder we are all going around in circles.

Our brisk walk takes us past all of the important stops we are supposed to make in our lives. Thoughts Become Things Circle, If You Leap The Net Will Appear Court, Home Is Where The Heart Is Gardens.

I keep walking praying that everyone will look up. That I will remember to always look up. As I raise my eyes skyward I see cobblestone up ahead. Where I grew up in New York there was a small street of cobblestone and I loved this little street. Could it be? I have to see this for myself...

Excited, I run through You Can Do It Meadow and skip along Memory Lane to the street of my proverbial past. The cobblestone is uneven and unpredictable but you can jump them like hopscotch. Some are cracked, and some are broken. Some are small and grey and others big and beige. They are all dirty with the passage of time. But if you look closely, some of them are perfect. They held their composure even through the worst of times.

There is one house on this cobblestone street and it’s as majestic as I remembered it. The white house with it’s red awnings and grand double doors. The hollow windows with ivory curtains and the over grown willows to protect it’s entry. The fragile mailbox and the grand lawn. The swing hanging from the oak that stands tall and ever seeing. I wipe the dust from the plaque to reveal the address. 24812 Answers Lie Within You Manor.  I’m home. 


Friday, September 30, 2011

Catch It

It never ceases to amaze me how powerful life is. Life constantly throws us Universal curve balls and it's up to us to either hit it out of the park only to have the ball come back to us another way or to simply catch it, study it and learn from it.

I've been really tested lately (obviously since I am still talking about it). For a moment there I just kept swinging. I got caught up in someone else's game and I didn't realize how many innings I had played. Argh!

I hold steadfast to my position that if we follow the Universal rules, justice will always prevail.

Once I caught the ball and walked off the field I was able to see things for what they really are. I was able to seek the proper assistance to help me see the light and in the end I find myself extremely happy with my growth and the outcome. I am protected from harm and have the right people on my team.

It's funny how, no matter how big the lesson I am always left elated by the epiphanies. Does this happen to you?

Everything really does happen for a reason, we just have to find a way to keep the faith. We can't let fear hold us back (and it will). We have to cut all chords, ties and binds and deflect the energy away from us.

We have to speak with conviction and insist for ourselves that we only invite the very best in people, place and things into our lives. 

The cool thing is, every lesson we get through makes us better people, thank God.

Next time a ball is thrown at you, don't engage! Just catch the ball and go sit in the dugout so you can figure out why you were the recipient. Learn from it and you will come out a winner.


Monday, September 26, 2011

Tunnel Vision

photo courtesy of

A friend asked me recently where I drew my inspiration from. If there was a teacher or a process or some other means my entries might come from.  At the time, there was no concrete answer.

And after coming through yet another very dark tunnel I realize that the answers are all around us. They are in the advise from a friend, an answered prayer, an epiphany during meditation, a page in a book, a sign in the subway, a billboard on the side of the road.

When we are honest with ourselves and face our fears that's where the answers are. If we give in to what is hurting us and mourn the losses, we are healing the layers of life that have been covered by so many bandaids. Within the questions we are asked, may lie the answers that we seek. When we are humble enough to admit we can't do it alone that is when the help comes.

Faith really can move mountains. Determination gives us confidence. Failure means we are that much closer to success. Taking chances breeds self-esteem.
Living with integrity will open us up to more opportunities.

We all have a lot to be thankful for and the answers come when we least expect them.

For me, even though I am on my own and my family are all gone, my friends never cease to show up for me. I wasn't born with a silver spoon but I am resourceful. Embracing the love around me will comfort me in my darkest hour. And I now know completely, unconditionally, totally and unequivocally, that I am not alone.

And either are you.


Sunday, September 25, 2011


By now, the darkness knows me on a first name basis. It comes to visit me like a family member you only see on holidays but with it's arrival comes the most profound breakthroughs.

When I look back over the years and the many visits, it has been during these times that I have been the most open. The humility born from admission does make us stronger. When the darkness comes I know I will come out on the other side equipped with answers, astutely peaceful and thankfully wiser.

Surrendering to the lesson is not always easy. We are never just handed what we want, we are presented what we need. 

I am reminded that I can't hide. Our lives want us to listen and hiding behind work or mindless activities can only sustain us for so long. For the first time in a long time, I didn't fight it. I stayed in the silence and gave myself over with undeniable faith and the vulnerability, while frightening at first, in the end was what saved me.

It's not the change that's scary or the growth that can be overwhelming. It's that I finally recognize that every time the darkness leaves it takes with it another layer of who I thought was.

The darkness helps me say good-bye to another piece of my past that I cannot change. It shows me when I am in transference and that I am safe from harm. It gives me comfort so I can mourn the people that aren't here anymore.

The darkness gives me a new layer of courage so that I may find my way back to the light.


Saturday, September 24, 2011


The weak can never forgive. 
 Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. 
                                                                                                                             ~Mohandas Gandhi 

Another dip, turn, bend, slow decent on the roller coaster and it seems to be never-ending. The vulnerability forgets what was said yesterday and can't seem to see the future.  All in one fell-swoop the negativity came and carried me away on it's magic carpet. The stress of it all has found me physically ill as proof that, that which we don't deal with emotionally will manifest itself physically.

But once we let go physically, comprehension follows. Through the childlike sobs of my yesterday, I gave in to the cleansing that can only happen when ones gives them self over implicitly.  

The tears started falling as I pulled up to my street and as the car door closed behind me I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold on.  The depression was too much for me to handle and the sobs that followed would eventually make me laugh but not before they would have me surrender to my truths. Out loud I voiced my fears. I admitted what hurt. I confessed that some things were beyond my control. I let the tears take me. I let go.

I've had to walk on eggshells for most of my life.  Tiptoeing around the possibility that one false move or breath would disrupt the quiet that often claimed our household.  A brilliant but sometimes volatile entity at the helm of our clan taught me that I have no tolerance for bullies and yet they are everywhere. And no matter how hard we try, for some, nothing we do will ever be good enough.

With acknowledgment comes a lesson. We really do surround ourselves with that which we know and if we don't figure out how to rise above the vibrational level of the pattern we will find ourselves stuck on the ride going around in circles.

There's only so much we can do before we resign ourselves to the admission that a quest on principle alone will lead to disappointment. Some people will go to any lengths to win. Some people don't know that not everything has to be a fight. I happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Again.

I have fought most of life just to survive and I don't want to fight anymore. My tears have taught me well. I'm done fighting. It's not even my fight anyway.

If my self-preservation has taught me anything, it is that everything really does happen for a reason and this too shall pass.


Sunday, September 18, 2011

Not An Option

Power statements will help us stay on our right path. When faced with adversity or negativity you can actually rise above the circumstance by empowering yourself to do so.

Temptations are plenty, and we need to have the courage to know what uplifts us and what is holding us back. When tempted by that which you know is not good for you, simply tell yourself emphatically, "It's Not An Option" and walk away.  

People can easily invade our dance space, and we need to know that for the most part it's not personal.  Some people are so trapped in transference, they are blinded by it and know not what they do. When tempted to engage in this negative behavior, simply tell yourself without any doubt, "It's Not An Option" and walk away.

Boundaries are often crossed, and we need to adhere to the fact that we shouldn't be walking around with a chain fence around us anyway. They are tests. It's a big world out there and we are going to encounter all kinds of people and circumstances that try to get the best of us.  When tempted by an altercation, simply tell yourself authoritatively, "It's Not An Option" and walk away.

When we stay in our place of power our invisible shields of protection will preserve our free-will. Know in your heart that karma really is a boomer-rang.  When given the opportunity to have empathy choose to do so.  The more you stay in your place of positivity the more gifts you will receive in life.

Know that anyone or anything that comes at us trying to take us from our place of power happens to be lost.  And also know that any negativity that is thrusted toward us, if not received will bounce back ten fold.  Knowing this, try to use your power to bathe the negativity in light and then toss it back, multiplying ten fold.  Know they are blinded by whatever hurts they have experienced. You can see things for what they really are. You can walk away.

When you are in a place of empowerment, spreading love is the only option.

What do you choose?

Photo Courtesy of

Friday, September 16, 2011


There is a lot to be said for silence.

The quiet brings with it answers. The solitude invokes revelations. The peace opens the door to insight.

Step in and quietly express your greetings and salutations. Whisper your thanks in advance as you settle yourself and let your thoughts take you where they want to go. Un-obstruct your third eye's view and listen to the guidance your life is trying to teach you.

Whether you call it prayer, meditation or contemplation your reflection will present itself when you find the humility to surrender and the courage to be accountable.

Close your eyes and take a deep nurturing breath. Let the world fade away and your thoughts subside and welcome the silence, for it is through this silence that our true reflections shall be revealed.

What do you see?


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Please Return To Your Seat

It's not that I'm not happy. Happiness holds onto to me like the leap of joy. But sometimes the indulgence in the dichotomy reminds me I have depth, even if it's not always understood.

There happens to be a little turbulence so I unstrap myself to see where the ride takes me. My temperature is running a little high and the rebellion can't help but show, revealing my precarious nature that I have come to love and know.

My mother has been gone so long I've forgotten what she used to call me and thoughts of how things are supposed to be never fail to find me.  Why can't I just be who I feel like in any given moment. I love where the wind always takes me, the lonesome wolf of indifference.

Sometimes there's nothing to figure out. You can be a contradiction. It's not being your own worst dichotomy when you write your own definition.

Being on so many right paths threatens to get the best of me sometimes. It can be hard to differentiate when your always drawing within the lines.

It's okay when you are at your best alone and your thoughts are undeniable. It doesn't matter who is watching, when you feel like picking up a crayon and drawing.

Just be you in all your moments and own it.


Friday, September 9, 2011

Catch Me

        Have you ever stumbled and then fell and then decided to just stay put and see what you could learn?  Did you know that when you fall if you turn yourself around to look up that you could see it all?  

        The world is a really big place and there are lots of lessons, and tons to do, and so much to take in.  And sometimes when you let yourself go and you open yourself up to whatever has come to take hold of you, that's when you learn. Have faith and the world will catch you. Be vulnerable and the magic happens. When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.

        When was the last time you tripped?  What did you learn?


Thursday, September 1, 2011

Confidence In a Bottle

Happiness has found me. I have found my way. My Self has taken hold again with courage and vulnerability. The day brings the sunshine and I am set free. The wonderful flight of Johnathan Livingston Seagall and all is quite alright. The beauty that fills me has my willingness restored. Hope in the orchestra and the violin plays a quiet chord. The harp shall be my heart and the drums my future. No more of your confidence in a bottle. Severing the ties from the past. It's time to see what I want to see. Smiling eyes and meet me on a rail train. Drink my Shirley temple and I will eat the ice. Kiss me. Speak to me and I shall be lost in you forever. Pleasurable enlightenments and I am just a girl embracing life. Looking toward the journey and it's the yellow brick road. An optimistic traveling no need to say a word. Hazel eyes stand by holding on to the truth.  Many years of mishap and a misguided youth. Time to embrace the splendor brought on by happiness and insight. Time to drink up.

Photo Courtesy of Bamboo Waterfall by ~ExquisiteDistraction on deviantART

Words on Screen & Words on Paper

  • Blink, Malcolm Gladwell
  • Casablanca (1942)
  • Chocolat (2000)
  • Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffer, Ph.D.
  • Harold and Maude (1971)
  • Invictus (2009)
  • On The Waterfront (1954)
  • Singin in the Rain (1952)
  • The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield
  • The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz
  • The Greatest Salesman in the World, Og Mandino
  • The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
  • The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra
  • The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
  • The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff
  • The Wizard of Oz (1939)
  • West Side Story (1961)
  • What Happy People Know, Dan Baker


  • Use Somebody, Kings of Leon
  • You're Beautiful, James Blunt
  • Love, Love, Love, Tristan Prettyman
  • Just Fine, Mary J. Blige
  • Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson
  • You and Me, Dave Matthews
  • Just Breathe, Pearl Jam