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Monday, October 17, 2011

The "I" Syndrome

        As the fog rolls in over the Marina, I can't help but be reminded of how often I have let myself be blinded by the density.  Living with your head in a cocoon can prove challenging when you are trying to break free of whatever binds that hold you. How do you let go of things in 0 visibility when you can't see in front of you?
        While the last couple of weeks have been spent searching for something new, I obtained some answers to some very old questions and just like that, I was re-introduced to the beauty and power of the Universe and the belief that change really does reside within all of us.
        The past year has been a series of tests that I am not sure I was passing. But maybe if the essay at the end holds the most merit I can redeem myself.
        In just a matter of weeks, my life has taken a huge turn down a road my heart didn't really know existed. Proof that when you are ready to make the shift the Universe will stop at nothing to assist you!
        A little back tracking mixed with some raw and vulnerable insight will be necessary in order to move this series forward. If you've been with me all year, you know that I landed a permanent seat on life's proverbial roller coaster and it's been a very bumpy ride. The band-aids had been piling up for so long, I couldn't tell which bruises were healed and which needed tending too. With the help of some friends I decided to rip them all off and what lay underneath led me to embark on another four part series. (Each series will end with the same Universal prayer. The more we all read it, the more the Universe will hear our messages). 

Part 1:  The "I" Syndrome
Part 2 - A Revolution
Part 3 - Evolution

Part 1 - The "I" Syndrome

The "I" syndrome will be different for everyone. We all have our own demons, baggage and trials and tribulations. But it's how we deal with them that matters. It's how we approach them that is relevant. It's how we rise above them that is significant.

~   I've been on the run. I have been chasing my dreams for so long I didn't even realize that I lost sight of why I had these dreams to begin with.  I've gotten selfish and driven by money.  I have been so wrapped up in how lucrative my pursuits will be that I forgot the humanity that fueled me in the first place. No wonder I am always left breathless just shy of the finish line. Chasing anything is exhausting. I haven't been making advances in my endeavors because I haven't been honest with myself. I have been so driven by how much money I need to have or the money that I have spent foolishly that I haven't been present. Until now, I have been constantly wanting, needing, chasing and going around in circles. It's time for change.

~  I have been obsessing about having a boyfriend only to realize that I wanted someone for all the wrong reasons. I was distracted and feeling alone and subconsciously thought, the answer must be to have a man in my life. As if having someone else around me would make me happy? How can I give my power away like that? Especially when it's not even realistic! I realized that the energy I was putting off was all wrong. It would be inevitable that I attract the wrong people in my life when I wasn't coming from a place of purity. When your energy is needy, clingy or desperate there is no room for anyone to enter. It's clear that I need to be independent in my own happiness and empowerment. Until now, I have been constantly wanting, needing, chasing and going around in circles. It's time for change.

~  I have been doing the same things for so long I couldn't let go of the patterns that had become my defense mechanisms. I was still getting caught up in the occasional darkness and I was starting to feel like a broken record. I came home one night not long ago with a fountain of tears streaming down my face, proof of the injustice that had become my personal life. (or so I thought) I realize now that I had subconsciously become a victim to my own existence. The pity, jealousy, and envy, at my past and everything and everyone around me left me empty. I couldn't see what important role I was here to play. I was wallowing and I needed to climb out of the trenches. Until now, I have been constantly wanting, needing, chasing and going around in circles. It's time for change.

When you hit your proverbial rock bottom, the beauty is, you can only go up from here. So once I got into my place of courage and faith of the empowerment within me, I took a good look around me and I remembered that I was here for a reason. I've always known that it was bigger than me and I have always believed that it would come to me when I was ready.  I set out on a mission to find a different kind of answer.  What I found was a movement.  

Stay tuned for Part 2 - A Revolution

Dear God, Universe, Higher Consciousness,

May you find it in your heart to help us find our true path.  Help the greedy to be humbled and help the poor for they are so many.  Please see us all through any times of hardship and despair.  May everyone have food on their tables, love for their children and roofs over their heads.  Though we may encounter conflict, strife or sorrow please help everyone to believe in themselves, each other and a bigger picture of possibilities.  May we lose our interest in power and instead find the joy in sharing.  May we give love to all whom we meet and extend a helping hand.  Let us know that a smile for a stranger goes a long way and a word of encouragement to a child can change the course of their future. Please help us not look down on those we perceive as below us, for we no not their circumstance. Let us remember that we are all creations of time and space and we can be gone tomorrow.  Please help us to persevere through our most challenging obstacles.  Guide us so that we may shine our light down the darkest of alleyways.  Please assist us on our path so that we may offer opportunities to those who are less fortunate.   Please help corporate America restructure to create more jobs.  Please help the politicians remember are the voice of the people. 

May you have faith in us that we may have faith in ourselves.  Please channel your energy through us so that we may be pathfinders for the future, proper guidance for the youth, and patience for the old that may have forgotten who they are.  Please help the leaders of the world.  Help them lead by example by pursuing peace, help them turn the global economy around, and please assist us so that the lands of war may find peace.  Please help us all help each other so that we may get through these arduous times and uplift the energy on a level of global consciousness.  May we all find peace, love, good health and prosperity.  May we wake each morning with love in our hearts, smiles on our faces, encouragement in our words and sincerity in our souls.  

May we disparage fear from our lives and evolve consciously as a whole.  Please help us to experience love, compassion and empathy toward our fellow man, woman and child.  Help us to greet each day with love in our hearts, be the master of our emotions, know we are nature's greatest miracle, and to live each day as if it were our last. 

With undeniable faith, I ask this for all of us in gratitude...

Amen, Namaste, Thank You,


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Words on Screen & Words on Paper

  • Blink, Malcolm Gladwell
  • Casablanca (1942)
  • Chocolat (2000)
  • Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffer, Ph.D.
  • Harold and Maude (1971)
  • Invictus (2009)
  • On The Waterfront (1954)
  • Singin in the Rain (1952)
  • The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield
  • The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz
  • The Greatest Salesman in the World, Og Mandino
  • The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
  • The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra
  • The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
  • The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff
  • The Wizard of Oz (1939)
  • West Side Story (1961)
  • What Happy People Know, Dan Baker


  • Use Somebody, Kings of Leon
  • You're Beautiful, James Blunt
  • Love, Love, Love, Tristan Prettyman
  • Just Fine, Mary J. Blige
  • Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson
  • You and Me, Dave Matthews
  • Just Breathe, Pearl Jam