Part IV - Hearing the Silence

After what feels like many life times ago, my thoughts bring me memories of a very significant part of my past. On the one hand the struggle was inherently unavoidable and constantly threatened to ruin me. For as far back as my memories will take me, there has always been an unequivocal need for silence.  My inner conflict was more like turmoil and the disparaging voices had no volume control or on or off button.

          Years ago, living back home in New York City, an Australian sat next to me in a workshop.  He was world traveled, a scholar, and a gentleman.  Over french fries and draft beer one night after class we made a hand shake pact that we would be platonic friends forever.   Forever didn’t last because of me. Age and wisdom had yet to teach me of friendships and honesty and integrity.  I’ll always miss my ten year friend and will always be sorry for the unfortunate turn of events.  Lately, more than anything, gratitude embraces my thoughts of him. With his generous and caring nature he gave me the ultimate gift. 

During our friendship he arranged for me to do a weeklong retreat (The Hoffman Process) that helps increase emotional intelligence.  This would be the week that would change my life forever. 

What if we haven’t been able to resolve our inner conflict because we are fighting with ourselves instead of nurturing ourselves?   What if by only looking at two sides we are leaving out two other sides that exist?  What if we are comprised of four parts instead of the two we only ever address?

Well if this possibility holds any truth, no wonder we’re in conflict.  This could mean that at any given moment we are ignoring, denying or abusing one or two parts of us.  

This is what we learned during the process. We are actually made up of four fundamental parts:  the body, the spiritual self, the emotional child and the intellect.    Now think about this for a moment.  Sometimes we are really good about going to the gym (taking care of the body) but then we constantly listen to loud music or we don’t get enough rest (ignoring the spiritual self).  We can be workaholics (feeding the intellect) but never take time to play or smell the roses (nurturing the inner child). 

If we don’t find a way to coexist within ourselves the conflict will never be resolved. We need to take the time to know the importance of balance. We need to pay attention to what our needs are.  It could be quite simple actually. 

What if we were to take out a piece of paper and fold it into four columns.  At the top of each column put the four parts of our essence (the body, the spiritual self, the intellect, the emotional child).  Under each heading write down what you do for each part of you in any given week.  Is there one column that dominates the attention richter scale? Which column is lacking?

It’s not easy.  Life can get in the way, but we do need to be reminded.  My friend sharing her story with me jarred my memory and led to this four part series.

The instability of life still threatens me sometimes. My work hours can sometimes leave much to be desired and my inner child stomps her feet for attention.  For years the gym escaped me but my meditations embraced me almost everyday. The instability was getting the best of me but the denial covered me like a blanket.

In the weeks leading up to this final part in the series finds me finally heeding my own advice. It’s working. The nurturing of each part of my essence has given me stability, balance and forgiveness.  Befriending myself has left me feeling full, nurtured, and whole.

The epiphanies and synchronicity of it all are living proof that the path of least resistance is within all of our reaches.

Being able to find the balance in my life has helped me to tap into the silence. The quiet has been the greatest gift ever bestowed upon me. So much can come from silence when all of you are listening at the same time.  

Are you ready to level out the scale and find your inner peace?


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