By now, the darkness knows me on a first name basis. It comes to visit me like a family member you only see on holidays but with it's arrival comes the most profound breakthroughs.
When I look back over the years and the many visits, it has been during these times that I have been the most open. The humility born from admission does make us stronger. When the darkness comes I know I will come out on the other side equipped with answers, astutely peaceful and thankfully wiser.
Surrendering to the lesson is not always easy. We are never just handed what we want, we are presented what we need.
I am reminded that I can't hide. Our lives want us to listen and hiding behind work or mindless activities can only sustain us for so long. For the first time in a long time, I didn't fight it. I stayed in the silence and gave myself over with undeniable faith and the vulnerability, while frightening at first, in the end was what saved me.
It's not the change that's scary or the growth that can be overwhelming. It's that I finally recognize that every time the darkness leaves it takes with it another layer of who I thought was.
The darkness helps me say good-bye to another piece of my past that I cannot change. It shows me when I am in transference and that I am safe from harm. It gives me comfort so I can mourn the people that aren't here anymore.
The darkness gives me a new layer of courage so that I may find my way back to the light.
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