Daring Chances

"Behold the turtle.  He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out." 

                                  ~James Bryant Conant

Chances are like choices.  Most of us take them.  A couple of us study them.  A few of us are afraid of them.  But all of us should embrace them implicitly.

I say we make the choice right here and now to embrace taking chances.  If we don't take chances, we won't grow.  It is important to see the possibilities.  It is imperative that we facilitate our own risks and jump.  I've said it before and I stand behind my words.  If we leap the net will appear.

Taking chances is so important that if we don't take chances we could miss out on our own greatness.  Think about it.  If Edison didn't keep taking chances we wouldn't have light.  If Franklin didn't take chances he wouldn't have become America's most influential Founding Father.  If Einstein stopped testing his own theories he would have never discovered his theory of relativity.

The unknown can be scary.  But the unpredictable nature of a new outcome, discovery or invention can change our lives as we know it.  And possibly the lives of others.  How exciting.

When we appropriate the advancement of our own futures, breakthroughs transpire.  If we dare to believe in the impossible, the possible happens.  If we continue to risk the mediocrity of complacency, progress is inevitable.

We are faced with opportunities to take chances when we least expect them.  It is up to us to choose what to do with these moments.  Chances are ours for the taking.  They are little gifts to show us how great we are and how our own possibilities are endless.

Release your limiting beliefs and take a chance today.  Chance the unknown, unchartered, unexplored realms of possibility and watch the magic unfold before your very eyes.

As my favorite wizard, Mr. Magorium said, "Life is an extravaganza so rise to the occasion"*



* Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, Mandate Pictures, Walden Media and Film Colony.





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The importance of Practicing

Maybe I have gotten it wrong.  Not all of it.  Just the thought that if I stayed away from an intimate relationship I could work through the dramas that I bring to the table.  I could stop my patterns and move forward with a fresh new start.

Inevitable that the aha! moment should follow.  Eight years later, still single, hiding behind production and my pursuits, and my writing and I stand alone.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not actually complaining.  I also realized that I enjoy everything I do.   My painting, my walks with Sir Henry, my job, my friends (when I make time to see them), my sushi dinners, and of course my writing.  But at the end of the day what difference does it all make if you don't have someone to share it with?

Practice.  You can't get better at something if you don't practice.  I am now really talented at being alone and not being lonely.  But can I be in a healthy successful relationship?  I honestly don't know the answer to this.  I haven't had enough practice.  

Could my lack of practice mean I am going to repeat my patterns?  Am I so set in my ways that there can be no compromise?  Will I run out of things to talk about?  Will I be in transference forever? 

I guess it's time to get out there and find out.  A smile at a stranger could lead to a coffee.  An introduction by a friend could lead to a lunch.  It's time.  Time to get out there and chance the meetings of a lifetime. There is someone for everyone.  So my soulmate must be out there somewhere looking for me.  And maybe he's saying the same things I am saying.  We can practice together.

Relationships are important.  Most of you know because you are in one.  While they can be a lot of work they can also be filled with the most joyous moments of our lives.

More of me being the W Chaser.  The answers are out there.  

Are you practicing?

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The importance of Practicing

Maybe I have gotten wrong.  Not all of it.  Just the thought that if I stayed away from an intimate relationship I could work through the dramas that I bring to the table.  I could stop my patterns and move forward with a fresh new start.  

Inevitable that the aha! moment should follow.  Eight years later, still single, hiding behind production and my pursuits, and my writing and I stand alone.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not actually complaining.  I also realized that I enjoy everything I do.   My painting, my walks with Sir Henry, my job, my friends (when I make time to see them), my sushi dinners, and of course my writing.  But at the end of the day what difference does it all make if you don't have someone to share it with?

Practice.  You can't get better at something if you don't practice.  I am now really talented at being alone and not being lonely.  But can I be in a healthy successful relationship?  I honestly don't know the answer to this.  I haven't had enough practice.  

Could my lack of practice mean I am going to repeat my patterns?  Am I so set in my ways that there can be no compromise?  Will I run out of things to talk about?  Will I be in transference forever? 

I guess it's time to get out there and find out.  A smile at a stranger could lead to a coffee.  An introduction by a friend could lead to a lunch.  It's time.  Time to get out there and chance the meetings of a lifetime. There is someone for everyone.  So my soulmate must be out there somewhere looking for me.  And maybe he's saying the same things I am saying.  We can practice together.

Relationships are important.  Most of you know because you are in one.  While they can be a lot of work they can also be filled with the most joyous moments of our lives.

More of me being the W Chaser.  The answers are out there.  

Are you practicing?

Not so Clueless

A friend of mine writes the blog, bachelorpadinfo.com.  I think it's such a great idea and full of great information.  Not just for bachelors either.  The discussion of taking care of your place got me thinking.

The things we do, how we live and the people we hang out with say a lot about who we are.  And it also says a lot about where we are in the current moment of our lives.  We can actually use the state of our living spaces to check in with ourselves and see how we are feeling about things.

Does your bed get made every morning?  Are the dishes in the dishwasher or still dirty in the sink piling up for days?  Are your clean clothes put away or have they found a permanent residence on the chair by your bed?

When I am at most my productive I feel really good about myself.  And when I feel good about myself the items around my home seem to find their way to their rightful places.  But when I am feeling out of sorts things just got messy.

It's kind of like when we don't deal with our emotions.  For every emotion there is a physical attachment.  And if we don't deal with our stuff it has to come out some how.  For me, when something is bothering me that I don't know how to deal with, I rearrange my furniture.  It helps me in the moment but it doesn't miraculously give me the answers I seek.  What I have come to realize is that our living spaces really are an extension of us.

When I move the furniture around I am just shuffling around the emotions I don't understand.  I am not engaging in ground breaking epiphanies. Rearranging the furniture is nothing but a temporary fix.  A reshuffling.  A distraction.

When my place is in order and my clothes are put away and my bed is made, I am in a place of confidence.  I am focussed and happy and my place is a reflection of my current state of mind.

Right now I am struggling with the friendship I made and have been talking a lot about.  Patience.  Waiting is hard for me.  I live at a productions pace and while I know the rest of the world doesn't move this fast I can't help but want immediate gratification.  Right now patience has handcuffed itself to me whether I wanted the visit or not.  While I wait, I have come down with a cold and a cough and I haven't made my bed and my clean clothes lay in wait on the chair. I have been going to the office everyday prepping a commercial which has been a much needed distraction but I realize today that my hiding behind my work is a form of moving the furniture around.

Today I have a day off and I am feeling distracted and unmotivated in my waiting.  My inability to speed up the process or be in control leaves me considering moving the furniture around again.  But then I remembered the importance in the lessons and the importance in resting and healing when we are sick.

You know what?  Sometimes it's okay to just be.  Sometimes it's okay to have your place a mess if you're feeling kind of messy or you're too busy or you're distracted.

Sometimes the messages around us are so obvious and yet so profound.  There is something to be learned in everything we see, feel, hear, touch and smell.  If we are willing to heed the lessons they can be everywhere we look.  Little clues, indicators and signs of what our souls need most.  Today my messages came from the state of my living space.  Who knows what tomorrow holds.

Awareness is a truth I am willing to confide in.  Are you?



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Morning Pages

We have all experienced the art of the fresh start.  Whether it be after a breakup or a move to a new city.  Finishing school.  Starting a new job.  Starting life over.

There is importance in a fresh start.  And a fresh start occurs everyday when we open our eyes and take that first waking breath of the new day.

Welcoming the day with an open mind isn't always easy.  You may have a big test that day or new job jitters.  You may have a Doctors appointment that has you concerned or you're just too tired to face the day so you press snooze one more time.

What if we could wake up and leave our worries on paper?  What if we could actually work through our thoughts by writing them out?  Years ago I came across a book called the Artist Way by Julia Cameron http://www.theartistsway.com

A twelve week book outlined like a class that helps you get to the crux of who you are and why.  One of the tools you learn in the book is called the morning pages.  You wake up every morning and you write out whatever comes to mind.  You have to keep writing until you fill all three pages.  Whether you write I don't know what to write or blah, blah, blah.. you must keep writing.

This has been one of the most useful tools I have ever come across and not because of my attempt at being a writer but because of how freed up I became throughout the day.  I realized that the things I might be worrying about were left on the pages in the morning.  I realized that sometimes I even found my own answers to my self-inflicted puzzles.

It is amazing what can happen for us when we are free from the thoughts that bind us.  Our memory gets better, our pension for creativity is awakened and our souls have room to breath.

As most of you know I experienced a very traumatic experience when I was fourteen.  My youth was taken away from me by a wanted stranger and I was to never be the same again.  But being the W Chaser that I am I would constantly search for ways to help me become whole again.  One of the tools that have played a large part in my emotional recovery has been this book.  The twelve weeks I spent going through the scary process of being accountable at the same time nurturing myself has awakened me to a freedom that I can only hope we all find and experience.

When I did the book, I did it with a group of twelve people.  I highly recommend doing the book with a group or through a work shop.  It was empowering and humbling and I think it was during week four of doing the book that I wrote the following poem.  Through tears I read it aloud.  And when I looked up from reading, every tear filled face that watched me embraced me in a love and courage letting me know that I was safe.  For the first time I opened up to the realization of what had happened to me and was able to talk to others openly for the first time.

I still try to write my morning pages and for the most part, I think they lead me here.  To these pages.  The ones I share with you.  As I continue to actively live my life with one eye open.

Thank you Julia Cameron.

County Fair

            “Crying for a childhood lost and the hours pass to slow. Where did that girl run off to? How far could she go? No one saw her skip away but she left a trail of tears. Didn’t anyone tell her? They’d evaporate with the years. This is no Hansel and Gretel so now there is no way home. A little girl should not be wondering through this world alone. Soon she will out grow her shoes and the ribbons in her hair. Won’t somebody help the child who missed the county fair? Won’t somebody help the child doesn’t anybody care? Left to face the night alone so separate from herself, all she wanted was some chocolate milk and the cookies on that shelf. Will she ever find her way again? Won’t someone tell her where she’s from? The papers said she’s gone for good and nothing can be done. Won’t somebody help the child who missed the county fair? Won’t somebody help the child doesn’t anybody care?”






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Decisions Decisions

You ever notice that when you are consciously making the right decisions everything flows freely and effortlessly?  I call these gifts from the Universe.  But I missed out on a lot of gifts.  I have always been one to learn things the hard way.  But I have decided to change all that.

Once upon a time years ago when I was in my breakup get back together phase with one of my exes I realized that when we stayed a part everything was going well for me.  But inevitably since we hadn't quite let go yet we would fall back into our pattern of hooking up.  We would have a great time but then all of a sudden something unfortunate would happen to me.  I would joke with one of my friends about it until one day we realized what was happening and the happenings were getting more and more obvious and more and more instantaneous after seeing him.

One day I realized that I was getting used to the gifts I was receiving from the Universe and I didn't want the gifts to go away.  I started paying more attention to the choices I made and the things I thought about.  Some of it made me laugh it was so obvious and sometimes it wasn't so funny.  It was actually painful.  Because, you know, the truth hurts.

I could be doing the mundane day to day and then suddenly hurt my toe, or burn my finger, or break a nail.  Actually hurt myself for real.  And when I stopped to think about what I was thinking about when the unfortunate accident occurred I was thinking things I had no business thinking about anymore!  Nutty but true!

Thoughts really are influential and when accompanied by power vocabulary the possibilities are endless.  We don't want to get trapped in our wrong decisions.  We want to be empowered by the choices we make and we want to build a strong foundation for positive growth.  

Everyone loves getting gifts.  Whether they come with 4 wheels and a bow or in a little small blue box, gifts make us smile.  And what about the gifts we give to ourselves?  The gift of consciously engaging in our own lives and assisting the Universe in giving us what we need.  These are gifts we can receive everyday.  The decision to live life to the fullest and be truthful to ourselves about what is good for us and what we should shy away from.  These healthy decisions help us grow and prosper.  They help keep us healthy and nurtured.  They will most certainly keep us smiling.  And if you are anything like me, once you start receiving these amazing gifts from the Universe, you will want them to keep on coming.

What are your decisions bringing you today?

Changes

Making changes in our lives and following through on the new vibrational energy level will fundamentally establish new attractions.  You will not just attract new and better circumstances but you will also be attracted to that which before you may have felt you didn't deserve.

Well I am here to tell you that when we commit to changing our lives for the better we attract the breaks that we do deserve.

We all deserve the best in life and what we give out is what we shall receive.

Today pick your favorite thing about yourself and when you are in that place of joy and empowerment hold on to it.  Take it with you throughout the day and hopefully in this energetic state of mind, the first thing you see in others will be your favorite thing about them too.

After all, if our very creation is a fascinating miracle (and we certainly are a creative miracle) then who are we not to live up to our true potential?




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Are You Listening

Do you ever feel like staying in bed when you're supposed to go to work or staying home when you should be making an appearance at a friends party?  Sometimes our bodies are trying to tell us something.  And when we can, we should listen.

I know we can't always just decide to stay home from work and we don't want to disappoint people by not celebrating with them but there other ways to heed the advise of our bodies without checking out for an entire day.

One way to get in touch with our bodies messages is through meditation.  Everyone is different but I find that first thing in the morning when my thoughts are clear and it is the start of a brand new day that I am the most susceptive to the inner communications of my body, mind and soul.

I read once that if you get out of the house within the first fifteen minutes of waking up, you will have more clarity and energy throughout your day.   So this is another version of the early morning meditation.  When your alarm goes off jump out of bed and take yourself for a walk.  Honor yourself with a slow pace and an open mind and take in all of the city, beauty or nature that surrounds you.  There can be messages in our surroundings too if we are open to hearing and seeing them.  

Sometimes when I need inner advise I pick up my favorite book, I ask a simple question and then I open it up to whatever page my eyes fall upon and I start reading.  It's funny, it's far-fetched and somewhat implausible but nine out of ten times therein lies the answer.  It may not be the answer we want but chances are it's the advise that could be in our best interest.

Another experiment to try is to lay quietly at night before you go to sleep and get in your place of intention.  Think about what it is you need an answer to.  Don't stress over it just let the thoughts flow through your mind and then think of the question you need answered.  Once you have asked your question, graciously ask yourself to present you the answer.  Politely and quietly to ask yourself that you wake up with the answer.  That you remember what you need to know and that you remember what you dream so you can find the message in it when you wake up. 

As we all know, the Universe will always give us what we ask of it.  So we should always be careful what we ask for.   We don't always get what we think we want but chances are the reply will be exactly what we need.  The lessons are always the hardest when we are in the moment but the freedom that comes from this kind of acceptance is invigorating.  Follow through.  Chances are you won't be disappointed.

Maybe it's time to get rid of all the wanting.  If we are too busy always wanting and needing all these other things then we are cluttering up our mind and making it impossible to hear.  If we are going to be courageous enough to take the step into listening to our life then we must be daring enough to hear what is being said and trust in our intuition.

Being the W Chaser that I am, I guess it was inevitable to learn that the real answers, my truth would come from within.  I have so much to be thankful for.

And in all honesty, if we are not happy with what we have, what makes us think we will be happy with more?

Just Enough Rainbows

      On shoot day 1 of 2 and it's time for lunch.  I've been missing writing on a daily basis but duty calls.  There are just not enough hours in the day to fit it all in.

      My journey does have me skipping.  My no vs. yes experiment is still underway and persistence really does breed success.  I hope you are still rigorously but patiently pursuing your no vs. yes experiment too!

      Sitting here on location amidst the dust and the chaos I have had another one of my moments.  A really great moment while checking in with myself.  In the brief silence I allotted myself I found a smile.  A deep rooted, to the core, feeling pretty good, like what I see, kind of smile.

      I realized I haven't experienced any sorrow and there haven't been any tears.  I realize that some people really are crazy makers and bullies and manipulative.  I also realize that I can stand up for myself, walk away when I feel like it and I don't have to grieve that which is lost.   And the simple truth is, people will always show their true colors.  So wouldn't you want your true colors to be that of a rainbow?

      All this time spent with patience is really agreeing with me.  I'm learning so much about myself and how the world moves around me and how other people sometimes get lost in the wind.  How sometimes I get lost in the moment and how we all react instead of taking a breath and letting the moment unfold organically.  Sometimes things are not what they seem.

      I found another key that promises to open many doors.  Happiness.  It has alluded me for too long.  It has taken me a long time to figure out what the happy people know.  I have found my version of happiness in the present moment and the more I stay in the moment the happier I am.

      Happy enough that I presume that maybe my life of tears humbled me just enough.  My life of fear gave me just enough courage.  My life of humility gave me just enough awareness and my life of tears gave me just enough rainbows.

      My happy finds me thankful and honoring the memories, the moments and the tears that got me here.

It starts with a single droplet of water

Like that of a summer rain

I must surrender to the waters will

It comes out of nowhere and calls my name.

My body responds voluntarily in surrender

The beckoning call a much needed release

As the water makes its claim on me

My body shakes for inner peace

Memories flood my mind

As my steps I now retrace

The water flowing freely

And I yield to its embrace

An attempt at laughter and I

Am at the point of no return

I freely relinquish all control

And leave it to my heart to discern

It can start with an onion

And the effects on the eyes

As I peel away at the layers

I am left with no disguise

It can begin with a lullaby

Sparking memories of the past

A childhood left to no one

And praying the pain would never last

A remembrance of my mother

Her singing fills my mind

A soul lost to happen stance

Who chose to leave this world behind

The grief from mistakes I’ve made

Fall around me like a house of cards

As I have spent most of my years

Behind my self made wall of disregard

The waves are finally crashing over me

As my body relinquishes its control

Giving in to the convulsions of sobs

The only way I can be made whole

In humility I shall shed my tears

Embracing all that they bear within

An inner knowledge and wisdom

That only life experience can bring

Tears come in many forms

Maybe too many to comprehend

But I am always thankful for the visit

Like the comfort of a long lost friend

Just like when all of the water from a rain

Brings the gift of the brightest rainbow

I am always grateful to my tears because

I can see my life through their open window

Happily Ever After

Today I woke wrapped in my new blanket of patience and gave a languid stretch of my body, mind and soul.  It's peaceful here in the moment and the answers come freely.  So much knowledge can be revealed in the deepest breath followed by the most tranquil sigh.  My meditation finds me smiling and the joy has me uplifted with hope.  I have settled in to the path of least resistance and it's amazing how free I feel.  The little things don't seem to bother me and I am sure that things always work out.  If we just live and let live all will fall into place.  Relinquishing control has been my biggest leap of faith.  But I was right.  The net appeared to catch me.  

We must trust that we are on track.  We must know that most of the time whether we rush, stress or freak out the outcome will still be the same.  And a funny thing is if we don't rush, stress or freak out the answer will come sooner.  Some things are out of our control.  Sometimes we get held up for whatever reason.  Find the messages in these moments.  The truth will be there.  

Right now mercury is in retrograde so things may seem out of sorts, electronics may be acting up and communication may be off kilter.  This is a time to slow down.  Take a breath followed by a sigh of relief and stay in the moment.  Let patience wrap it's arms around you and trust in the process.  

Not always easy to do.  My biggest obstacle has always been patience but my words have always tried to teach me.  That's why I keep posting these poems I write.  Because it's time to heed the words of advise that somehow find their way to paper when I play my part and hold the pen.

There has to be a window

So you can see past the waters edge

A wondrous rainbow of color awaits you,

If you just believe in what’s been said

If you listen to your heart

The words can speak in volumes

But you can’t fear the past

That’s been leaving you unraveled

The unknown is where

The answers are revealed

If you can keep the faith

In the truths that are concealed

Open up the lid 
of your life unlived

And all your truest passions

Will come rushing to be fulfilled

Get back up, brush yourself off

and find the faith 

You’re supposed to lead by example

not give in to an endless chase

Even though in times of trouble

it’s hard to understand

Let your life catch up to you

and gently hold your hand

Know you were made with love

in the eyes of happiness and glory

And know that you were meant to be

A happily Ever After kind of story

Endurance

I just don't have much to say right now.  I am busy prepping a commercial while still in active pursuit of my endeavors and I must admit, I am exhausted. But it's time to stop looking in the rearview.  So much greatness lies ahead if I stay focussed and encouraged. I don't need to always be in 4th gear.  Time to slow it down a little and accept the path of least resistance.

I am trying really hard to take a stroll with the patience that promises reward.  It's hard for me, when my instinct is to sprint.  But I am getting better.  I know that if I continue to convince myself that there is reward in endurance I will continue to persevere.


For now, for fear of going on a narcissistic rant, I will leave you with an old writing of mine.  My words teach me too so when I am in need of some encouragement they come in handy.  Like now.

life is always changing and 
tests your strength and will
a lovely dance by moonlight
the grass, perfect and still

keep the faith in sunrise
and welcome the day
walk with your head held high
and the gifts will come your way

the universe will give to you
all that you ask 
so be strong in your intention
and unwavering at your tasks

hope is undeniable 
just let love lead your heart
always choose to be honorable
a perfect place to start

never hold ill thoughts 
or give power to your fears
Live your life with integrity
and your wishes shall appear

Live Love and Laugh
Everywhere you go 
Peace Love and Light
On you shall bestowed




~P

The Bridge (small excerpt from my book)

The 3rd draft of my book is complete and I have been sharing it sparingly for feedback.  My notes have been amazing and I am very excited with the results.   I have, however, found myself needing a way to connect the two parts without it being two totally separate books.  I thought I would test it out here... Let me know what you think.  Feedback is welcomed.

            Yes.  The first half of my life left me breathless subdued and emotionally crippled.  With no comedic reprieve, the stories were hard to read and the situations unfathomable.  But I did tell you in the beginning that the events I would share were not the happy ones. 

            In my face of adversity lie my laugh lines.  I see them now.  As life progressed, I needed to know which ones to embrace and which ones to cover up with as much make up as possible.  But we all know that cover up will wash away with a little soap and water.

            In the context of my existence, it was these unfortunate events that brought me to a place strong enough to go back through the rubble of my train wreck.  After many failed attempts of putting the pieces back together I finally made my way over the bridge. 

            I believe that everything happens for a reason.  If it weren’t for everything that happened to me, I wouldn’t know all of what else I am about to tell you.  The following chapters are meant to make you think.   You are with me on this journey for a reason.   You relived my past with me because it is time to right the wrongs and release the chains that bind us.  This isn’t just for me.  It’s for you too.  The need to share, learn and hypothesize over the events to make life better, stronger and sustainable is irrevocable.  My story is far from over.  But on this side of the water across the bridge from where I came from, it sounds so much different.   The why's have finally been replaced with now what.  It's time for change.

Gifts Regardless

"Re-shape yourself thru the power of your will.

                                                                                            ~ Unknown Quotes from The Bhagavad Gita

We don't always see it at the time, but just when we least expect it the Universe will make sure we are receiving what we need.  Food and water may be fundamental requirements for our sustainability but accomplishment can re-shape our lives and give us hope for a better future.

Wanting something implies lack.  It is non-existent and empty.  Take a good look at the list of things you want.  How long have you been wanting these things?  It may surprise you to take a look and realize that when we are in constant state of wanting, we are left with just that.  More wanting.

Adjustments need to be made in our thinking, in our approach and in our habits.  Some faith will be involved, and action, the Universe responds to us taking action. Know what it is you want and then let go of it.  Trust that it is enough to know the want and let the Universe take care of the how.

We can't just sit idle though.  Pleas don't misinterpret what I say here.  We must be intentional and we must be resolute in our approach.  Let the power of your intention be the vehicle you drive on the road of your chosen path.  And let your will make certain that your vehicle is always powered.   

I haven't checked in for a bit because I have been so busy pursuing and leaping into action.  And I still don't know how my pursuits are going to see through the finish line but I have faith that I am getting close.  My will to succeed sees me through the no's that I am still receiving.  But engaging in action and believing in my will to succeed shall see me through.

My will is indestructible and my faith is undeniable.  I received another no today.  I'm excited by it.  The Universe is watching out for me.  The Universe must not have seen a healthy prosperous partnership there and was protecting me from the wrong outcome.

Sometimes it's hard to let go.  You think you want something so bad or someone so intently but it's not essentially what we need.  The Universe knows what we need.  It doesn't respond necessarily to what we want.  The two can be very confusing.  But the outcome is a gift.  We just don't always see it in the moment.

All I can say is, thank you for always having my best interest at heart.  I shall keep partaking in my course of action and re-shaping myself through the power of my will.

What gifts have you been getting?