Love Actually

I made my first statistics list before my first birthday and I believed that my fate was sealed.   I came into this world because it was to late for other arrangements.  As I got older I struggled to find my place in the world.   I was lonely and I was lost. But most of all I was angry.   Angry at the genius mother who couldn't love me.   Angry at the military father who was never there.   I was angry at my Self for what had become my life. Why didn't I have the answers?   Why couldn't I fix it?   Fix my parents and fix my Self.   Frustration and rebellion would set in like a bad rerun and I couldn't turn it off.   I feared everyone and trusted no one.   I was the quintessential representative of a misplaced youth and I was face down in the proverbial gutter.   I didn't know if I would ever get up.   I just lay there in a puddle of my own tears.   Drenched and depleted I prayed.   I prayed for guidance and help and love.   I am simultaneously launching a new company and writing a book proposal for my 1st novel to submit to publishers.  Somehow we prosper!  We are able to push ourselves to new limits and it's then that we start to realize our true potential. We must hold ourselves accountable and then we will become conscious. Conscious to a life worth living and the possibility that we are all so very special.  The biggest lesson on my journey is that we do have power. We do have worth and our words can make a difference.  And I hope that by some miracle my experiences and my sometimes questionable approach may shed some light, spark a fire or give some insight for all of us.   I know the world does not revolve around me.  I realize that we are all in this together.  In some way shape or form we all have our shit.  And the best way to get through life is to find people who's shit is compatible with ours.   I hope my writings help change our world a little bit.  Help someone know that they weren't the only one who had bad things happen to them.  To know that the world will give us what we ask of it so we must be careful what we wish for.  And perhaps it is conceivable that we can negate the disparaging voices from our past. This is about sharing in the process and not being afraid of the rejections, the inspirations, the positive influences, the negative influences, the process of dealing with daily life.  This is where we can be reminded of the value and the power that a kind word or a smile or some love can hold for someone who is living life with their head down.  I was that person for far too long.  My friend Betheny challenged me to an experiment.  Everyday I am to look 10 strangers in the eyes and smile.  Sounds easy right? For me it is a terrifying prospect.  But I love experiments!  So I find the courage in her intention for me to live outside my shell and meet new people.  It's even getting easier, well for the most part,  when I can stay out of my head long enough to know it's not that deep.  And the most important thing is I am smiling and I am making someone else smile and a smile can go a long way.  Like Love... Nothing moves mountains like love! We all have love in our hearts.  So let's focus on the love.   Today let's focus on the things we love about ourselves and silently say "I love you" to everyone we meet.   Do you have some love to share with the world?