Rendition of Color

One of my favorite sensory memories is the smell the morning after a big rain.  I love it.  I am reminded of early summer mornings in New York waiting for the bus to pick me up for day camp.

The senses are a powerful thing.  Our senses provide us with protection.  They show us beauty and sorrow. They help us touch the heart of others and in hearing the sounds of symphonies.

If you were to think about it you would figure out that one of your senses is your "power sense".  The one that stands out the most.  I read once that we can increase our sensibilities through practice.

Being the envelope pusher that I am, it was inevitable that I choose to work on my sixth sense.  My power of intuition.  My innate ability to learn, experiment, and create my existence and my experiences.

I test the theories constantly and the more responses I get the more I look forward to.  Today on my morning walk I was feeling optimistic about my endeavors but I noticed that something was a little off.  I decided to use my senses to see what I could surmise.

Taking in my environment I noticed that the water in the canal was very low, the sky had taken on a somber grey, the bushes looked a bland shade of green and the dirt a constant step ahead of me on the path was the flavorless color of oatmeal.

Where was my head space that I couldn't see in color?

It took me most of my walk to figure it out but then I had an epiphany.  I have spent the last five days writing my book proposal and the last two of those writing my chapter summaries.  In doing so I have had to "relive" the unpleasant moments of the past.  I have had moments of anger, times of tears flowing freely onto the computer keys and moments of emptiness at the incongruity of it all.  My bleak mostly colorless past that sometimes gets the best of me.

In the moment that my olfactory senses picked up on the correlation, I let it go.  I let go of my past and my pain and my mother and my childhood and my fears and my sorrow and my searching outside myself for happiness.

I enveloped myself in love and honored myself as a woman.  Pure and simple.  Me.  A woman standing on her own with humility in her soul, love in her heart and exuding her own natural rendition of color.

What are your senses telling you?